Sarah Paulson is basking in praise for her critically acclaimed, Emmy-winning performance as doomed prosecutor Marcia Clark in “The People vs. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story”, yet the actress explains that she can’t bring herself to watch her own performance — because seeing Clark take a courtroom beating from Simpson’s legal “dream team” would simply be too painful.
“We did an O.J. postmortem recently for the [Television Critics Association], and they started showing clips,” Paulson tells Vanity Fair in a new interview. “I got up and I walked offstage because I didn’t want to watch it. Then somebody said, ‘You’re not in the last one, it’s just the verdict, it’s just the verdict. You can go back out.’ I was like, ‘OK.’ I went and sat down and put my mic back on and then, of course, it was a close-up shot of Marcia as the verdict’s about to be read.”
Paulson continues: “I felt truly like my stomach started to turn, and I realized maybe deep down I didn’t want to watch this because I don’t want to watch [Marcia] lose. I don’t want to watch her lose, I don’t. I felt too many feelings about playing her, including this sort of fantastical idea that if Sterling [K. Brown, who played co-prosecutor Chris Darden] and I just pitched it the right way, the jury would hear it in the right way and the verdict would be different. Some sort of weird actor fantasy that one has like that.”