Late Night Talk Shows Lay Into Justin Bieber

Well, that didn’t take long. As one might expect, America’s acerbic late night talk show hosts wasted little time giving Justin Bieber the gears over his street racing / DUI / arrest trifecta. And naturally, we’ve compiled a few monologue jokes for you:

Jimmy Fallon: “Justin Bieber was arrested today for drag racing and drunk driving in a rented Lamborghini. Which is pretty surprising when you hear that the only race car he’d been in before that was his bed.”;

Jay Leno: “Bieber told police he had consumed alcohol, smoked marijuana, and had taken some prescription medication — or what Toronto Mayor Rob Ford likes to call a “light snack.'”

Conan O’Brien: “The police report described Bieber as 5-feet, 9-inches and 140 lbs. Or as his cell mate put it, ‘just right.'”

Jimmy Kimmel: “No one’s talking about the real victims here: the people who aren’t in jail meeting Justin Bieber.”

And of course, no celebrity takedown isn’t complete without a Letterman Top 10 List. In this case, it’s the “Top Ten Justin Bieber Headlines We’re Likely To Read.’ Some highlights:

  • Out of Options, Bieber Seeks Asylum in Russia
  • Singer Changes Name to Bustin Jieber
  • Jury Enters Third Day of Belieberations
  • Justin Tweets Photo of His Bieber


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