Daryl “D.M.C. McDaniels of rap duo Run D.M.C. opened up about his struggle with mental health in a new memoir titled, “Ten Ways Not To Commit Suicide.”
The rapper, who has now been sober for years after struggling with an alcohol addiction, struggled with severe depression after losing his voice from the throat condition spasmodic dysphonia. In an exert from his book, McDaniels reveals that there was one song that helped him when he began to have suicidal thoughts. Interestingly enough, it was a calming Sarah McLachlan song.
He said, “I was probably at my suicidal worst in 1997 during a two-week-long tour in Japan. The only song I listened to then was a soft-pop ballad by Sarah McLachlan called ‘Angel.’ I cannot overemphasize how important that song was to me in the midst of my depression. ‘Angel’ kept me serene even when every fiber of my person was screaming for me to lose it [and] made me believe that I could soldier through.”
He continued, “I thought long and hard about killing myself every day in Japan. I tricked myself into thinking that my family might be better off without me. I considered jumping out of a window. I thought about going to a hardware store to buy poison to ingest. I thought about putting a gun to my temple. Whenever I’d listen to ‘Angel’ though, I always managed to make my way back from the brink.”
McDaniels concluded, “It would be too simple to say that song got rid of all my negative feelings. It couldn’t rid me of the wounds. [But] ‘Angel’ was like a life preserver tossed to me during a storm. It didn’t pull me out of the water, but it did help me stay afloat until other help came along.”