Zoe Saldana On Working After Having Twins: ‘I Cried Every Day’

Zoe Saldana says the two things she loves are her children and her work, but balancing the two can be tricky.

Speaking with People¸ Saldana reveals what it was like to film “Star Trek Beyond” when her twin boys were just six months old: “The first week back at work, I think I cried every day in my trailer… But I remember as soon as they would tell me ‘We’re ready for you on set,’ I would still skip to set. I love what I do.”

The popular actress realizes, however, that she is not the only one struggling with change: “You do need to rest, you do need to have a moment to yourself, but right now this is my life as I know it. They’re 20 months old, and they’re starting to feel my absence.”

Saldana explains the whole process is a learning experience for her: “They still don’t really have an accurate concept of time, but they’re becoming a little anxious. And that’s when you ask people, you ask a therapist ‘Is this normal?’ You read books, you go on Google… But I always explain to them that I come and I go, but Mama has to work.”

She adds it is important to be in control considering the circumstances: “I also make sure that they see me happy when they come visit me at work — they need me to lead by example.”

The 38-year-old mother also recognizes that motherhood is as much physical as it is mental: “I remember telling [writers Simon Pegg and Doug Jung] that I did not want to be a part of anything ‘stunt-y’ because my body was still trying to get back into shape and organs were trying to get back into their natural position.”

And as Saldana puts it, you are not going to hear Pegg or Jung complaining: “You’re not as sturdy as you believe yourself to be and I wanted to give my body time. I didn’t want to force myself into anything. They were like ‘Oh my God, absolutely.’ ”

Finally, she says it is paramount that she follows her dreams no matter how much she misses her two little rascals: “I carry pain like a rock in my chest whenever I’m away from my husband and children, but I love what I do, and I can’t give that up… If my boys never see me fight for my dreams, they’ll never fight for theirs.”