In a new article for Today.com, Karen Tracy, whose brother Eric Hill died in April shortly after appearing on ABC’s The Bachelorette, has opened up about seeing him on the program.

“People ask if it’s difficult to watch him on [The Bachelorette],”; Karen says. “And I do get a little nervous until I see the handsome brother that I know and love.”;

One of the The Bachelorette’s season 10 contestants, 31-year-old Eric died in a freak paragliding accident not long after his eviction. His final episode aired on June 2.

Instead of questioning producers’ decision to keep footage of Eric in the program, Tracy says she’s grateful. “I get a little tearful,”; she admits, “but I know Eric would want his audience to enjoy the journey with him, and seeing him makes me smile.”;

She adds, “In some ways, it’s only fitting that he is defying death in this way. My brother always thought bigger and dreamed bigger than anyone I have ever known.”;

Karen and other members of Eric’s family have set up a philanthropic foundation in his honor: LiveLikeEric.com.