Mary J. Blige is opening up about her marriage to Kendu Isaacs and their divorce.

In an interview with Variety, Blige talks honestly about the difficulties of the marriage, and how she used that experience to inform her role in the upcoming film “Mudbound”, which plays TIFF this month

“I used a lot of my own heaviness from my own misery that I was living in that horrible marriage, I was just dying in it,” Blige says. “I knew something was wrong. I just couldn’t prove it. I just had all the heaviness of not feeling right, not feeling good.”

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As for how she’s handled the divorce, for which a judge ordered her to pay her ex-husband $30,000 each month in spousal support, Blige says she is still working through it.

“I’m doing okay. I’m living,” Blige says. “I’m not happy about a lot of things. I thought someone loved me, right? Turns out, he was a con artist and he didn’t, and now he’s coming after me for all my money. When you come out of something like that, you realize you were never the one. There was someone else that was his queen. I got played. I got suckered. I have to keep smiling and keep my spirits up because this is designed to kill me.”