Everything that Jeff Goldblum touches turns to gold-blum. It doesn’t matter if he’s serving sausages from a food truck, flirting with British TV hosts, or performing weekly jazz shows in Los Angeles. Goldblum makes life better.
That’s definitely the case when it comes to ranking tattoos — specifically, tattoos of Jeff Goldblum. In an interview with GQ, the “Thor: Ragnarok” actor reacts to various tattoos of his own likeness, describing and critiquing each one with the usual Goldblum charm.
“You’ll see my natural reaction as I see these pictures,” Goldblum explains, after demanding that he not be shown the photos until the filming of the video starts. His reactions are indeed spontaneous and hilarious.
“What is that?!” is his immediate response upon seeing the first picture. “I don’t like to wear a tattersall shirt. I have strong feelings about fashion as you may or may not know.” Despite the fashion faux pas of the tattoo, he still rates it 10 Goldblums out of a possible 10 Goldblums.
As the video rolls on, Goldblum digs deep into the details, pointing out the rendering of forehead veins, Adam’s apples, and strong jawlines. “I played a detective on television, so I notice things others may not,” he comments.
Many of the tattoos feature Goldblum’s legendary “Jurassic Park” character, Dr. Ian Malcolm, including one with the mathematician sharing a pizza with a velociraptor. “It’s a whimsical representation of the relationship that I would have with a velociraptor,” Goldblum quips.
“Look at that!” he exclaims after one particularly full-lipped, orange-faced tattoo. “I wish I were looking at that and eating a nice plate of huevos rancheros, chips and salsa and a nice margarita. Mmm, on a hot day like this is — wouldn’t that be good?”
Watch the video above. It’s a sure-fire 10 out of 10 Goldblums.