Jeff Goldblum Rates Tattoos Of Jeff Goldblum

Everything that Jeff Goldblum touches turns to gold-blum. It doesn’t matter if he’s serving sausages from a food truck, flirting with British TV hosts, or performing weekly jazz shows in Los Angeles. Goldblum makes life better.

That’s definitely the case when it comes to ranking tattoos — specifically, tattoos of Jeff Goldblum. In an interview with GQ, the “Thor: Ragnarok” actor reacts to various tattoos of his own likeness, describing and critiquing each one with the usual Goldblum charm.

“You’ll see my natural reaction as I see these pictures,” Goldblum explains, after demanding that he not be shown the photos until the filming of the video starts. His reactions are indeed spontaneous and hilarious.

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“What is that?!” is his immediate response upon seeing the first picture. “I don’t like to wear a tattersall shirt. I have strong feelings about fashion as you may or may not know.” Despite the fashion faux pas of the tattoo, he still rates it 10 Goldblums out of a possible 10 Goldblums.

As the video rolls on, Goldblum digs deep into the details, pointing out the rendering of forehead veins, Adam’s apples, and strong jawlines. “I played a detective on television, so I notice things others may not,” he comments.

Many of the tattoos feature Goldblum’s legendary “Jurassic Park” character, Dr. Ian Malcolm, including one with the mathematician sharing a pizza with a velociraptor. “It’s a whimsical representation of the relationship that I would have with a velociraptor,” Goldblum quips.

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“Look at that!” he exclaims after one particularly full-lipped, orange-faced tattoo. “I wish I were looking at that and eating a nice plate of huevos rancheros, chips and salsa and a nice margarita. Mmm, on a hot day like this is — wouldn’t that be good?”

Watch the video above. It’s a sure-fire 10 out of 10 Goldblums.

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