It’s been 16 months since Alan Thicke passed away and now his widow Tanya Callau Thicke is opening up to ET Canada’s Matte Babel to discuss how she’s coping with the loss of the love of her life and moving on from a lawsuit lodged against her by the actor’s sons, Brennan and Robin Thicke.

“It’s taken a lot of therapy,” Thicke says in our exclusive sitdown interview from the California home she shared with Alan. “I have an amazing grief counsellor that helped me get through this. The loss of Alan and how he passed away – it was just so shocking.”

The Northern Ontario-born “Growing Pains” actor died after suffering a ruptured aorta and aorta dissection while playing hockey with his 19-year-old son, Carter, in December of 2016 – he was 69.

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Thicke reveals she and Alan were planning on expanding their family at the time of his death.

“I just started the nursery upstairs and so when I lost him, it was my whole life,” she explains, admitting she hasn’t “moved on” from the loss. “My whole life just came shattering down. It just shattered and my hair fell out, my eyebrows fell out, my lashes fell out. The worst had happened. Losing Alan was the worst so everything else that followed was second.”

What followed was a lawsuit five months after his death. His adult sons, singer Robin Thicke and brother Brennan, filed a lawsuit claiming Tanya planned to contest her prenuptial agreement she had with their father when they married in 2005.

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“That lawsuit made absolutely no sense because they filed it 24 hours before my expiration time to contest the prenup,” says Thicke, who was the late actor’s third wife. “They just had to wait 24 hours and there was nothing I could do.”

The judge threw out the case in September, claiming there was no evidence Tanya wanted to challenge the contract which, among other concessions, allowed her to continue to live in the house she shared with her husband. However, in his will, the actor made his sons the legal owners of the property.

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“I am so grateful to my husband to give me my sanctuary here,” she says, adding that she can live there for the rest of her life, but also pays the mortgage, taxes and upkeep on the property.

“I still haven’t gotten anything from the boys as far as a distribution plan or an accounting for the estate and it’s been one year and four months and I’ve been really patient because I really want to keep the peace out of love and respect for Alan,” she continues.

Thicke has no plans to move on from the house, adding she loves being able to live where she once did with Alan.

“I feel my husband’s presence in this house. I’ve lived in this house now for almost 20 years,” she says. Thicke says she visits Alan’s gravesite every week. “This man gave me the love that I had never felt in my life and for that I will forever be indebted to my husband and I still miss him.”