Lena Dunham is opening up about her breakup from Jack Antonoff.
In an essay for Vogue, the “Girls” actress looked back on her recent split.
“It was December when we broke up, that kind of confusing weather where glaring sunlight makes the cold air feel even colder,” she began referring to Antonoff. “We sat in our shared kitchen of nearly four years and quietly faced each other, acknowledging what nobody wanted to say.”
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"'I’m going to die alone.' Even said jokingly, the words are possessed of a horrible tyranny, as though aloneness is an island on which, as punishment for failing to successfully adapt yourself to romantic love, you are marooned. Alone is a place that nobody would want to go on vacation, much less live permanently." @LenaDunham explores alone time in the link in our bio. Photographed by Norman Jean Roy, Vogue, 2017
“That obsessive connection had turned to blind devotion, and the blinders were coming off to reveal that we had evolved separately (the least shocking reason of all and perhaps the most common),” Dunham wrote. “That anger wasn’t sexy or sustainable. That our hearts were still broken from trying so hard to fix it but no longer uncertain about whether or not we could. The finality nearly killed me, and I remember muttering, ‘But what if we still went on dates?’ He laughed sadly. ‘Whatever you want.'”
But Dunham quickly realized that this was the end, “But we knew there would be no dates, only the kind of loving but overly careful check-ins that define a separation after longtime togetherness, after hundreds upon hundreds of nights curled against each other in bed, after thousands of takeout boxes and millions of text messages and then the side-by-side texting, too, on the couch, under the dim blue light of the TV.”
She continued, “Our home, a sprawling loft bought when we brimmed with shared plans for each room, was no longer a space of comfort. And it was hard, in this moment, to summon what it had been, what we had felt, the routines that defined and outlined our life as a couple.”
Read Dunham’s full essay here.