Steve Jobs’ daughter is opening up about her relationship with her incredibly famous and successful father.

In an excerpt published by Vanity Fair from her upcoming memoir Small Fry, Lisa Brennan-Jobs talks about what it was like to have a father who at first denied her paternity.

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Lisa was born in 1978 when Jobs was only 23, to her mother Chrisann Brennan.

The Apple co-founder only accepted that Lisa was his daughter in 1980 after a DNA test was done and a court mandated minimal child-support payments only days before his company went public making him a millionaire.

After that, Jobs remained very distant.

“For a long time I hoped that if I played one role, my father would take the corresponding role,” Lisa wrote. “I would be the beloved daughter; he would be the indulgent father.”

“If I had observed him as he was, or admitted to myself what I saw, I would have known that he would not do this,” she added.

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Lisa also wrote that she never had a “grand reconciliation” with her father before he died of cancer in 2011.

“For him, I was a blot on a spectacular ascent, as our story did not fit with the narrative of greatness and virtue he might have wanted for himself,” she wrote. “My existence ruined his streak.”