Asia Argento is speaking for the first time about the death of her partner Anthony Bourdain.
In an interview with DailyMailTV airing Monday and Tuesday, the 42-year-old actress shares her feelings after the chef and TV personality’s suicide in June.
“The anger kept me alive because, otherwise, this desperation has no end, there’s no end,” Argento admits, wiping away tears.
“And then I was angry, yes, for abandoning my kids,” the mother of two adds. “But now it’s been replaced just by this loss, this hole that cannot be filled by anything.”
Bourdain, who was 62 when he died, had one daughter, Ariane, from his second marriage to Ottavia Busia.
Argento also opens up about the trolling she received, with people blaming her for Bourdain’s death.
“People say I murdered him. They say I killed him,” she says. “But I understand that the world needs to find a reason. I would like to find a reason too. I don’t have it. Maybe I would feel some solace in thinking there was something that happened.”
One of the charges was that Argento had cheated on Bourdain, but she says it was a normal part of their “grown-up” relationship.
“He cheated on me too. It wasn’t a problem for us,” Argento explains.
The interview is Argento’s first since Bourdain’s passing, as well as her first since allegations emerged of sexual assault on actor Jimmy Bennett when he was 17 and she was 37.
Bennett appeared on Italian television Sunday night where he was mocked by the audience for his assault.
Journalist Massimo Giletti asked Bennett about the selfie he took with Argento after they had sex.
“I’m sorry, but you don’t seem upset, you don’t seem in this picture to be traumatized. You don’t look here like someone who was afraid,” Massimo said, as translated by The Daily Mail, to loud applause from the audience.
The journalist also asked, “Was the rapport complete?” referring to whether Bennett had ejaculated.
When he replied, “Well, yes,” members of the audience moaned.
On Sunday, CNN broadcast the first of five final “Parts Unknown” episodes Bourdain completed before he died.