The blockbuster allegations against Michael Jackson detailed in HBO documentary “Leaving Neverland” have left viewers shocked and disturbed, and a discussion of the doc led two co-hosts on “The Talk” to open up about their own experiences with abuse — and how forgiveness has brought them to a place of healing.
While chatting about “Leaving Neverland”, co-host Sheryl Underwood revealed, “I was sexually abused as a child and I had no other choice but to forgive my mother, even though she seemed resistant to taking any responsibility or feeling that she could have done something to protect me. But I had no other choice but to forgive her so that I could survive, so that I could move on, so that I could heal and get better.
“So I felt that no matter how hard it is — and I was begging her to acknowledge that one, this was not my fault, that I didn’t do anything, but you’re my mother, you’re my mother. And you look to your parents as being the thing that protects you, that guards you, and she didn’t do that, and I don’t think that it even dawned on her that it was something that we both needed. But I had no other choice — I had to forgive her and it was very difficult to do.”
Admitting that her father “didn’t want to know the details,” Underwood recalled that he was the one who helped her to “mentally survive” her abuse.
“I told everybody. I wanted everyone to see I wasn’t bathing, I wasn’t wearing pyjamas, I was wearing full clothes, double clothes, winter clothes because I was trying to stop what was happening. My father didn’t want to know the details but then he slowly wanted to know what happened,” she continued.
“And what made it so that I could move on was my father saying, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, and I’m sorry I didn’t protect my child. I should have listened to you,'” she said. “When people say, ‘Well, I didn’t witness it,’ you’re never going to witness it. They need it to be hidden… so that when you tell someone, you’re the liar. But I thank God that my father was slowly coming to a point quick enough for me to mentally survive this.”
Carrie Ann Inaba also shared that she was abused as a child, and likewise had a difficult time forgiving her mother.
“She couldn’t see things,” said Inaba. “It’s not that she allowed it. She couldn’t see it because she loved the various people around.”
Yet she still felt that her mother should have been more vigilant in keeping her safe. “At the beginning of the healing, when you start to recognize that you have had this experience, you want that apology,” added Inaba, admitting her mother found it “hard” to believe her.
“I understand that. At first that made me so angry. Why are you not believing me? And it made me feel super alone,” she continued, referencing Jackson accusers Wade Robson and James Safechuck. “That’s why I have so much compassion for these boys, because they’re asking for compassion to feel less alone in the struggle that they’ve had. And it’s OK. I think people can believe whatever they want to believe, whichever side you land on, that’s your choice. But for me, somebody who’s been through it, you need them to recognize, you need someone to say, ‘Yes, I’m sorry it happened.’ You may or may not get it and if you don’t get it, you still have to learn how to forgive and move on for your own life.”
“The Talk” airs weekdays at 2 p.m. ET/PT on Global.
