Gwyneth Paltrow’s late father may not have been at her wedding but she made sure to honour him on her big day.

In a recent episode of Dax Shepard’s “Armchair Expert” podcast, the “Shallow Hal” alum, 46, talked losing her dad Bruce Paltrow in 2003 and walking down the aisle without him by her side. Bruce passed just days after Gwyneth’s 30th birthday at 58 years old.

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“For years, I would go into a kind of the deepest depression of all time around my birthday and then I thought, I’ve got to reframe this somehow. My father would not want this for me.

And when Gwyneth wed “Glee” co-creator Brad Falchuk in 2018, she made sure her dad’s presence was recognized: “My birthday is September 27 and so this past September, I got married on the 29th of September. His ashes are buried under this beautiful tree at my house and we got married there — right near my dad… kind of on my dad.”

But she still struggles with the loss, “I still have a hard time with it. He was such an intentional father, and he was so observant and so deeply supportive and set us up to win all the time. And now I have a 14-year-old daughter and a 12-year-old son and I’m like, ‘F**k, I need to call my dad. I need to talk to my dad,’ and I don’t have that person. I have incredible people in my life, but I don’t have their grandfather, who was also the greatest father in the world.”

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Two months after Bruce’s death, Gwyneth married Chris Martin. The former couple share daughter Apple and son Moses. They divorced in 2016.