Caterina Scorsone says her “concept of what motherhood was” completely changed since giving birth to daughter Paloma.
Paloma — whom the “Grey’s Anatomy” star, 37, calls Pippa — was diagnosed with Down syndrome, and while talking to the “Motherly” podcast, Scorsone says the adjustment in parenting just clicked one day.
“What I unconsciously thought about my job as a mother was that I was supposed to equip her to survive in a competitive world,” Scorsone said explaining the differences between eldest daughter Eliza, 6, and Pippa, 2. “Pippa was going to have some physical differences and some cognitive differences.”
And when it clicked, it stuck. “This simple voice came to me where I was like, ‘I don’t know what to do — oh, I’m supposed to keep her safe and I’m supposed to make her feel loved,’” she said. “And suddenly my understanding of my job as a mother completely distilled and opened.”
At that point, the Canadian stunner realized she also needed to change her habits of motherhood with Eliza as well. “I saw how I was loving my first daughter, Eliza, for her qualities. I loved Eliza so much because she was so clever, and she was so beautiful and she was so funny … but all those things were external qualities,” she explained.
“I had to confront that thought experiment of ‘I don’t know if [Pippa is] going to be clever, I don’t know if she’s going to be funny’ — which, of course, she is, and now that I know more about Down syndrome, I’m like, ‘Oh, what a stupid thought I had.’ But I didn’t know, and it forced me to realize that I was loving my other daughter and everyone, including myself, for absolutely the wrong reason,” added Scorsone. “I was loving people for their external qualities and not for their essence.”
And that shift, Scorsone says, “was the most healing and nourishing gift that I could have possibly been given by the universe.”
Listen to more from Scorsone here.