Bebe Rexha is opening up about the “dark side of the music industry.”
The singer spoke to Marie Claire UK about the importance of her mental health. She says “I’ve had moments when I didn’t want to leave the house.” Adding that until she saw a therapist, she didn’t know she had anxiety. “Exercising, eating healthier and changing [her] priorities” all made a big difference.
The Grammy-nominated singer recalls how she was “hopelessly stuck” with her first label who wouldn’t release her music but wouldn’t let her go.
“I was literally so depressed. I wrote a letter to the CEO, like, ‘I don’t want to be alive, you guys are making my life miserable; I’m sad every day and stuck in a place where you’re keeping me hostage’.”
“Ever since I saw how dark the industry could get, that really affected me,” she added. “It took me a long time to accept that but, once I did, I got so much better.”
These experiences are what helped inspire Rexha when she wrote songs for Selena Gomez, Iggy Azalea, Eminem and Rihanna. “The Monster” performed by the latter two artists was about Rexha “hating” that she had anxiety. “It’s like, ‘We stop looking for monsters under our beds when we realize they’re inside of us.’ That’s what inspired me.”
Her songs also hit home with fans. “I’m A Mess” and “I’m Going To Show You Crazy” have resulted in mothers crying and thanking Rexha for getting their daughter’s “though these hard times.”
The “Last Hurrah” singer has also had to deal with her fair share of criticism in the industry, from her age to her size.
“I’ve had men in the industry say I’m getting too old and I should retire. I’m 29, my grandmother is old,” Rexha says. “I’m not faking my age like I’m supposed to. I don’t feel like I need to prove anything to anyone.”
The singer also had to deal with designers refusing to dress her at the Grammy’s as they only would lend sample-sized clothing. “It gets frustrating when designers send pieces that don’t even go halfway up,” she told the magazine. “I’ve heard things said about models who are ‘too big’…I refuse to stand for that.”