Rebecca Gayheart Spent ‘A Year Just Trying To Kill’ Herself After Fatal Car Accident Involving A 9-Year-Old Boy

Rebecca Gayheart still has trouble coping with a fatal 2001 car accident.

The “Beverly Hills, 90210” actress opened up about the accident, in which she fatally struck 9-year-old boy Jorge Cruz Jr., during a recent episode of the “The Only One in the Room” podcast.

“I had a very terrible accident happen. A 9-year-old child died. And, you know, everything changed from that, and, I still have trouble talking about it,” she explained. “I just didn’t want to live after that accident. That’s what it came down to. I couldn’t handle it at all. So I spent about a year just trying to kill myself, basically, by doing every self-destructive thing a person can do.”

“I just didn’t understand; I didn’t understand any of it, like, I had led, you know, sort of a charmed life up until then, even though I grew up dirt poor,” Gayheart continued. “It just turned my world upside down and I lost faith in everything, like, I questioned God, like, ‘Why me? Why Jorge?’”

The accident occurred on June 13, 2001. Cruz was crossing a street in Los Angeles when Gayheart struck him. The boy died one-day later from injuries sustained in the accident.

Gayheart paid the family $10,000 for funeral expenses and settled out of court in a wrongful death lawsuit. She pleaded no contest to vehicular manslaughter in November 2011. Her license was suspended for one year, she was sentenced to probation, a $2,800 fine and 750 hours of community service.

“I struggle with the ‘Why?’ still,” the 47-year-old explained. “I still replay it in my head of, ‘Had I stopped at the gas station, maybe I wouldn’t have been on that street.’ You know, those things never go away. They stay with you forever and I did not cope very well after. Listen, I just didn’t want to live after that accident.”

“Today, I am able to ponder those questions and still realize that I deserve to be happy,” she shared. “That I am meant to be on this planet and that I have a purpose and I’m making, living amends for that, even though it was an accident.”

Gayheart shares two daughters – Billie Beatrice Dane, 9, and Georgia Dane, 7 – with her ex-husband Eric Dane.

Gayheart co-stars in Quentin Tarantino’s new movie, “Once Upon a Time In Hollywood”, which premiered at the Cannes Film Festival on Tuesday.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help, resources are available. In case of an emergency, please call 911 for immediate help.

The Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention, Depression Hurts and Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 all offer ways of getting help if you, or someone you know, may be suffering from mental health issues.