Carrie Underwood talks about the ups and downs of the past two years as she tops People‘s list of 100 Reasons To Love America in their latest issue.

Underwood discusses having extensive reconstructive surgery after suffering a nasty fall outside her Nashville home in late 2017. She also talks about suffering three miscarriages in less than two years.

The singer, who shares four-year-old son Isaiah Michael and four-month-old son Jacob with husband Mike Fisher, admits, “I put a lot of stress on myself — I feel like a lot of moms do, a lot of women do.”

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She says of the miscarriages, “Of course, you wonder if it’s you, what am I doing wrong, or what have I done wrong. I remember having conversations with Mike trying to make sense of it all.

“I’ve always wanted to be a good daughter to my parents but also to God and not complain, because we are beyond blessed. I get to do what I love, I have an incredible family. I have Mike, I have Isaiah, I have great parents. I have all of these amazing people around me, and I don’t want to complain, ever.

“But the miscarriages made me get real with God and say, ‘Okay, I’m kind of giving up a little bit. If this isn’t meant to happen, then I need to accept that and know that someday I’ll understand why.’”

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Underwood then learned she was pregnant with Jacob, calling the little one a “perfect little bundle.”

She adds of balancing her hectic career with her personal life, “There is a thing about motherhood that makes you feel like, ‘Okay, if I can do that, I can do anything.’ And I feel like I’m a little older, a little wiser. This isn’t my first rodeo.”

Underwood says of having baby No. 3: “I’m never closed off to anything, because, again, I’m not in control. But I feel pretty good about where we are.”