“Silicon Valley” star Thomas Middleditch has an interesting tidbit to share in a new interview with Playboy , revealing he and his wife Mollie Gates are swingers.
“Only after I got married was I like, ‘Mollie, I’m sorry, but we have to get nontraditional here.’ To her credit, instead of saying ‘F**k you, I’m out,’ she was like, ‘Let’s figure this out.’ To be honest, swinging has saved our marriage,” says the 37-year-old native of Nelson, B.C.
“We have different speeds, and we argue over it constantly, but it’s better than feeling unheard and alone and that you have to scurry in the shadows,” he adds, explaining that the term “swinger” is passe. “By the way, it’s now called being ‘part of the lifestyle.’ The term swinging is old.”
Asked if he ever envisioned himself and his wife as becoming “part of the lifestyle,” he declared, “Absolutely not. I’m sexual. I’d always thought I was a romantic and that when I fall in love, that stuff fades away. It does for some years — enough to be like, ‘I should get married, and I’ll be different.’ But it’s part of me. If that’s part of your being and it feels important to you, find a way to explore it, because repression sucks.”
As he says, he and his wife “created our own rules, and compared to most of the people we’ve met who do this kind of s**t, our rules are strict. We’re not off on our own; we’re together, a unit.”
Is he worried that he’ll now become the “face of the lifestyle?”
“I would be honoured to be the face of something,” he quips. “I don’t give a f**k, but my wife is more private, so I have to juggle that. I don’t think I would ever be the face of a full-tilt, your-body-is-my-body lifestyle. The perception is that you open up that door and it’s ‘Eyes Wide Shut’, which isn’t necessarily the case.”
Having fans approach him for sex, he admits, is “one of the trickier elements of it all, because Mollie doesn’t get that and yet she has to witness it. I’m like, ‘Come on, what about this chick who’s obviously really into me?’ And Mollie will say, ‘Yeah, she’s into you. Where do I fit in?’ That question comes up. There’s a lot of negotiation, and adding fame sometimes makes it easier and sometimes complicates things.”
Adds Middleditch: “That’s the forever-changing landscape in our relationship, because it’s about everybody feeling safe. The internet is a possibility for meeting people, but Instagram fucks up marriages. If your partner brings this very forward person from Instagram to you, you’ll be like, ‘Do you guys have a thing?’ Whereas if your partner bumps into someone and they start a conversation, it all happens in front of you. It’s a game of inches on a minefield to try to predict who’s going to feel safe. My first concern is Mollie. Anything that happens has to be run by the queen.”