Jenna Dewan has been through a lot in the past little while and all in the public eye.
The dancer split from hubby Channing Tatum after nine years of marriage, is now with actor Steve Kazee and is expecting her second child, but things have been a like a “tumbling avalanche.”
“[Divorce] was never on my docket of dreams, but alas, here I am, learning and growing through one,” she writes in her new book Gracefully You: Finding Beauty and Balance in the Everyday. “In the beginning I turned to the typical remedies. I drank a whole lot of wine with friends. I had many moments of deep, painful, big cries. And both were very necessary in getting me to the next hour, through the day, on to another week.”
Dewan explains that she and the “Magic Mike” star split as she started to film “World of Dance” but had to hide it from the press who started to suspect something.
“In the beginning of my separation, it felt as though I were in a dark closet, desperately trying to find the light or the way out,” she reveals. “I was in a state of shock. One week I’d be doing really well and the next I was slammed with a whole new slew of emotions. The [rumour] mill was churning out story after story. There were many times I hid under the covers, wondering what was next. The pain hit me like a tumbling avalanche. I was completely overcome with fear and sadness. It took many moments of sitting alone with my grief to force me into surrendering to my roller coaster of a situation.”
And when Tatum moved on with singer Jessie J, Dewan didn’t see it coming.
“I was learning things about my ex most people wouldn’t have to face–and over the internet, as it was happening,” she adds. “There I was, on a plane, alone, finding out about his new relationship. I felt blindsided. Choosing grace as I learned everything about my personal situation along with the rest of the world was really difficult.”
Even though Dewan’s book is about always having grace under the most stressful situations, not even she is perfect and admits many times she almost sent out tweets to share her side of things.
“Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to go online and write exactly what’s on my mind? Thousands,” Dewan writes. “My instinct is to fight back, set the record straight. What stops me every time is: ‘Choose to say what you would want yourself to live with a week from today.’ Or ‘Choose what you would want Everly to read when she’s older.'”
Gracefully You: Finding Beauty and Balance in the Everyday will be released on Oct 22.