Earlier this year, Meghan McCain wrote an op-ed for the New York Times, revealing her “horrendous experience” after suffering a miscarriage.
Several months later, the co-host of “The View” sat down with “Good Morning America” to share more about what she experienced with hopes of helping other women who have faced the same situation.
“I don’t want to be the face of death and miscarriage but I also feel like life throws things at you that are unexpected and you have to roll with the punches,” explained McCain, 35. “I would rather continue to open up dialogues and conversations. I just hope that women out there know that they aren’t alone and they haven’t done anything wrong. And that the pain is real and it’s totally understandable.”
Admitting that she’d never been someone who felt a “natural draw to motherhood,” she was shocked by the despair she felt when her pregnancy ended prematurely.
“I was very, very, very hard on myself. And I blamed the stress of my life and I blamed being older and I blamed my personality and I blamed things that were not rational,” she added. “I, since then, have just tried to go a little easier on myself on all things having to do with motherhood and pregnancy-related, because it’s not easy being a woman. It’s just not. And I know how hard I was on myself and I’m sure a lot of women do the same thing. And you just feel really alone.”
In addition to turning to her husband of nearly two years, conservative pundit Ben Domenech, she also sought solace from her “View” co-host — and best friend — Abby Huntsman, who at the time was expecting her twins, Ruby and William.
“I didn’t think it was possible but it made us closer because she so supported me through all of it in a way that maybe would’ve been difficult for a pregnant person to watch,” McCain continued. “Juxtaposed, people might’ve thought it would’ve been difficult for me going through a miscarriage while she was pregnant but we really leaned on each other a lot because I think it’s intense to give birth to twins, too. And it’s a very specific moment in time that was very, very hard for both of us that made us bond.”
Looking back, she now sees her miscarriage as “the inverse of losing my dad,” Sen. John McCain, who passed away of brain cancer last year at age 81.
“My dad was like, the ending of a beautiful long-lived life and I grieve that and the way I grieved having a miscarriage and grieved my daughter was what could have been,” she confessed. “It’s hard. It’s just really, really, really hard and I empathize with all women who have gone through it and who may go through it. It’s just horrific. And it doesn’t really get easier, either.”
The big lesson she’s learned throughout the whole process is that women who miscarry need to cut themselves some slack.
“I think it’s weird we’re not having more conversations about how it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to grieve this,” she said. “Don’t go hard on yourself no matter how you feel. Maybe you don’t take it as hard as I do or maybe you don’t feel the same way. Whatever you feel is totally fine and totally where you’re supposed to be. And I wish I had heard that.”