James Corden had just kicked off his monologue for Thursday night’s edition of “The Late Late Show” when he was interrupted by a surprise guest: none other than Santa Claus himself.
“Santa?” said Corden, feigning surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I just came to wish you a merry Christmas and to bring you and your wonderful audience some of these gifts!” replied St. Nick (played by “Late Late Show” head writer Ian Karmel).
The notion of receiving gifts elicited a big cheer, and Santa began handing out candy canes to audience members, one at a time.
“Santa. Santa. Santa,” interrupted Corden, growing impatient. “Would you be able to speed this up maybe a little?”
“James,” replied Santa, “you have to savour every moment of Christmas!”
However, explained Corden, “it isn’t technically Christmas” yet, and they are doing a TV show so “we have to do this faster than this.”
“James, you can’t rush these things,” chuckled Santa, but Corden wasn’t having it. “You can though, you can,” Corden insisted. “We’re trying to do a show here.”
Attempting to speed things up, Corden hopped out from behind his desk to offer his assistance.
“But you don’t know which present goes to which good girl or which good boy!” sputtered Santa incredulously. “They’re all candy canes,” replied Corden as he reached into Santa’s bag. “It’s pretty straightforward,” he added as he began indiscriminately hurling candy canes into the audience.
This left Santa despondent, admitting he’d slowed things down by acting like a “silly old fool,” taking his bag of candy canes and slinking away.
Just as he was about to exit, Santa turned to address Corden, explaining he didn’t have time to give the host his present. Corden, however, informed St. Nick he was trying to cut out sugar, and dismissively told him he didn’t need a candy cane.
However, Santa’s gift wasn’t a candy cane, with the curtains opening a la “The Price Is Right” to reveal the gift to be a new home theatre. Unfortunately, lamented Santa, there wasn’t enough time to give Corden his gift since the show was so packed.
Corden, however, relented, telling him that “Of course there’s time!”
This did not sit well with Santa. “We have time now? Now there’s plenty of time for presents? Well f**k you!” yelled Santa, hurling a bowl of popcorn to the floor before smashing Corden’s new popcorn machine, overturning his leather recliners and pushing over the widescreen TV as he angrily trashed the set.
“F**k you, James Corden,” declared Santa.