Spice Girl member Mel C, a.k.a. Sporty Spice, is opening up about her battle with depression and how a drunken fight with Victoria Beckham started it all.
While on Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs, Mel recalled how she told Posh Spice (Victoria) to “f**k off” during an onstage issue at the Brit Awards. After that their manager threatened to fire her, she said she started to become “really hard on myself.”
“I was so hurt and embarrassed,” she said.
“We’d all had a few bevvies and on the way out there was a little scuffle between myself and Victoria. We can’t say this on air but I asked her to go away. I was told if that behaviour ever happened again, then I would be out.”
Mel C continued, “To think I could have messed that up and lost it all… I began to be really, really hard on myself. I think that is where the start of some of my problems came because I had to be very, very strict with myself. I couldn’t allow myself to relax because if I did I might mess it all up.”
The incident happened a few months before their hit “Wannabe” was released.
She also said she had a hard time to live up to the “boyish” persona given to her.
“I think I was described as the plain one at the back that doesn’t really do much or doesn’t really say much,” she recalled. “That is really hurtful when you are a young aspiring pop star. I tried to make myself perfect, whatever I deemed perfect to be.”
Mel continued to speak about her issues with eating disorders and depression.
“I think my body actually took over my mind,’ she said. “I went from being anorexic to having a binge eating disorder. That’s when I went to my GP and I was diagnosed with depression. It was such a weight lifted off my shoulders. It was such a relief because I thought, ‘Oh my God, there’s a name for it and I can be helped.'”
Looking back, Mel C feels that she probably should have left the group before they split in 2000.
“I kind of stayed a bit longer than I wanted to. A lot of that was because I was so unwell. I was struggling being in the company of the girls. I knew I had to go because I had to sort myself out,” she added.