Evangeline Lilly Opens Up About Emerging From ‘Darkness’ After A ‘Rough Year’ Of ‘Profound Pain’

Evangeline Lilly is opening up about a “rough year” that had her feeling as if she was imprisoned in “darkness.”

The B.C.-raised “Lost” star shared a photo Thursday to show off her new look, sporting a blonde pixie-cut hairstyle.

RELATED: Evangeline Lilly Shaves Her Head: See Her Transformation

She asked her followers for their opinions, whether she should “keep the blonde? Or go back brunette?”

On Friday, she offered a followup, and became unexpectedly candid about what she’d been going through in her personal life.

“Yesterday many of you said ‘brunette.’ Well, here she is, about a year ago today,” Lilly wrote in another post, accompanying a pair of photos (taken by her four-year-old son) in which she’s sitting on the floor, apparently in despair.

RELATED: Evangeline Lilly Is Not Here For A ‘Lost’ Reboot

“I had such a rough year last year but I didn’t want to share all of it with you because i didn’t want to be a dark cloud in your world,” she added. “All I’ve ever wanted to do was put joy in the world. To add sunshine. I didn’t want you to be having a perfectly good day and then have my post make you sad. But I struggle deeply with feeling that all I ever am is what I feel everyone else wants and needs me to be. I often feel alone and unseen.”

Lilly continued: “I have always known I was strong. Strong enough, I believed, to hold all my pain and everyone else’s also. So I kept it all inside, kept it to myself, and made space in there to hold your pain, too. Publicly, I hid and made light of my deepest traumas and laughed in the face of my most profound pain.”

RELATED: ‘Lost’ Producers Apologize To Evangeline Lilly After She Reveals Nude Scene Left Her ‘Mortified And Trembling’

Last year, the “Ant-Man and the Wasp” star, 40, explained, “I broke. Suddenly I was forced to face my weakness and my limitations, my trauma and fears. I was left with no choice but to accept that I am limited or… carry on down a road of perfectionist denial that would inevitably kill me.”

Thankfully, she added, “I am coming out of that deep place, slowly. As I start to breathe the fresh air, as I start to find my new, limited footing, I feel disconnected from you. I feel it’s pointless to share the light when you don’t know my darkness. I feel lost and apathetic about this space we share.”

She concluded by asking herself and her followers, “would you have wanted to come along in my darkness had I shared it?”

View this post on Instagram

#fbf #flashbackfriday Yesterday many of you said “brunette”. Well, here she is, about a year ago today. I had such a rough year last year but I didn’t want to share all of it with you because i didn’t want to be a dark cloud in your world. All I’ve ever wanted to do was put joy in the world. To add sunshine. I didn’t want you to be having a perfectly good day and then have my post make you sad. But I struggle deeply with feeling that all I ever am is what I feel everyone else wants and needs me to be. I often feel alone and unseen. . I have always known I was strong. Strong enough, I believed, to hold all my pain and everyone else’s also. So I kept it all inside, kept it to myself, and made space in there to hold your pain, too. Publicly, I hid and made light of my deepest traumas and laughed in the face of my most profound pain. . Until, last year, I broke. Suddenly I was forced to face my weakness and my limitations, my trauma and fears. I was left with no choice but to accept that I am limited or…carry on down a road of perfectionist denial that would inevitably kill me. . I am coming out of that deep place, slowly. As I start to breathe the fresh air, as I start to find my new, limited footing, I feel disconnected from you. I feel it’s pointless to share the light when you don’t know my darkness. I feel lost and apathetic about this space we share. . But I ask myself…would you have wanted to come along in my darkness had I shared it? . 📷 taken by my four-year-old son #whenbabieshavecameras . #lightanddarkness

A post shared by Evangeline Lilly (@evangelinelillyofficial) on

Click to View Gallery

‘Lost’: Where Are They Now?

Get breaking news in your inbox

Related

Comments

Powered by WordPress.com VIP