Camila Cabello is getting candid about her mental health struggles.
In an essay for WSJ Magazine, the 23-year-old singer opens up about dealing with obsessive compulsive disorder for Mental Health Month.
Cabello talks about the ways her Instagram feed is not totally representative of her inner life.
“Here’s what there aren’t pictures of from the last year: me crying in the car talking to my mom about how much anxiety and how many symptoms of OCD I was experiencing,” she writes. “My mom and me in a hotel room reading books about OCD because I was desperate for relief. Me experiencing what felt like constant, unwavering, relentless anxiety that made day-to-day life painfully hard.”
She also talks about being too “embarrassed and ashamed” to tell anyone about her OCD.
“I didn’t want the people who thought I was strong and capable and confident — the people who most believed in me — to find out that I felt weak,” Cabello writes. “The little voice in my head was telling me that if I was honest about my mental health struggle and my internal battles (i.e. being human), people would think there was something wrong with me, or that I wasn’t strong, or that I couldn’t handle things.”
Describing her OCD, Cabello says it took the form of “obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours,” adding that it made her “feel like my mind was playing a cruel trick on me,” she explains. It manifested physically too, giving her difficulty sleeping, constant headaches, and a persistent knot in her throat.”
Thankfully, Cabello has found ways to deal with her condition: “For a long time, anxiety felt like it was robbing me of my humour, my joy, my creativity, and my trust. But now anxiety and I are good friends. I listen to her, because I know she’s just trying to keep me safe, but I don’t give her too much attention. And I sure as hell don’t let her make any decisions.”