Billie Eilish Has ‘Never Felt Desired’: ‘Sometimes I Feel Trapped By This Persona That I Have Created’

Billie Eilish has a unique look that her fans love to emulate, but it doesn’t come strictly from a keen sense of fashion.

Eilish opens up about her appearance and body image in the July/August cover issue of GQ, available on newsstands and via digital on June 5.

The five-time Grammy winner also touches on her relationship history and what it like being “clickbait.”

“Here’s a bomb for you: I have never felt desired. My past boyfriends never made me feel desired. None of them,” Eilish shares. “It’s a big thing in my life that I feel I have never been physically desired by somebody. So I dress the way I dress as I don’t like to think of you guys – I mean anyone, everyone – judging it, or the size of it.”

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“That doesn’t mean that I won’t wake up one day and decide to wear a tank top, which I have done before,” she notes. “Sometimes I dress like a boy. Sometimes I dress like a swaggy girl. And sometimes I feel trapped by this persona that I have created because sometimes I think people view me not as a woman.”

Eilish speaks candidly about her relationship history, mistakes the 18-year-old has made and how she is still discovering herself.

“I have never felt powerful in a relationship. I did once and, guess what, I took advantage of that person’s kindness. I wasn’t used to it. It’s been months and I am not attracted to people anymore. I don’t know what’s going on,” Eilish admits. “It’s actually kind of dope.”

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Finally, Eilish discusses how she has eased back for social media, learned more about the reach of her fame and how the public interacts with celebrities online.

“I am clickbait at the moment. Anything with my name on it or anything I say or do can and will be used against me,” she says. “I don’t watch people’s [Instagram] Stories, I quit Twitter a couple of years ago, I look at the occasional meme and I feel bad that I don’t post more, as the fans want it, but I have nothing to post. Honestly. Zip.”

“The thing I realized recently is this: when you get to a certain level of fame or notoriety, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, you are a certain level of known. You will be super hated. And super loved,” she adds. “There are a million people who don’t like Beyonce – and I don’t know how the hell you can’t love Beyonce. Same with Rihanna. Same with Trump – people actually like that fool.”

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