Sia Opens Up About Dealing With PTSD And Suicidal Thoughts

Sia is getting candid about her mental health struggles.

The “Chandelier” singer was on Apple Music with Zane Lowe this week and opened up about her personal life in a big way.

Among the traumas Sia has had to deal with, her short marriage to Erik Anders Lang from 2014 to 2016.

“I went into wig mode and behind the scenes stuff. … In the beginning I sent a pretty clear message, can you just leave me alone for a little while? Because I’m having kind of a nervous breakdown. I’ve put a wig on so that you know I don’t want to be famous, and I sent a clear message, and people have been extremely respectful of that message,” she said. “Then I got married, got a divorce almost as quickly. That was super devastating. It brought up a lot of developmental trauma, and I was in bed for three and a half years.”

During that time, Sia revealed she was also diagnosed with a form of PTSD due to other childhood traumas.

“I had a lot of suicidal ideation over the last three and a half years. I couldn’t get out of bed. I was finally diagnosed with complex PTSD and not a bipolar two. So I thought I’d been living with bipolar two, and then I was actually correctly diagnosed as having complex PTSD from a number of childhood and developmental things, and then a bunch of adult trauma as well,’ she said. “And then I also think that getting famous should fall under a traumatic category, and I think that’s why a lot of our celebrities are in rehab and killing themselves. It’s the greatest disappointment.”

She added, “What happened is I have an attachment injury, or I had an attachment injury. And what I needed to do was three years of extreme attachment repair work, which is the newest kind of psychology. This science, this … Is based on science. Attachment theory is based on science. Attachment theory is actually the cause of all addiction.”

The 44-year-old also opened up about her understanding of white privilege, explaining that it was sparked after she adopted her two sons in 2019.

“I’m embarrassed. I’m embarrassed that it took me to adopt two black sons to really understand what they go through on a daily basis. I’m embarrassed that they’re looking pictures up on The Daily Mail,” she said. “When this reality is happening, and it’s what we should be addressing more than anything else, more than any dumb video I’m putting out, or any song I’m putting out, or any music I ever loved. There are things to do. We can actually act, and we can actually try and get justice for Breonna Taylor, and Elijah McClain, just that there’s actually, we can have an effect. We don’t have to just feel sad and guilt.”

Talking about whether she is worried for her sons, Sia added, “Yes, very scared, very scared for my children. I love them so much, you know? Guillaume Chapelle is my friend, but when he said shut up white woman, I was like, ‘I can’t. I’m sorry. I know I’ve never experienced, I’ve only ever experienced white privilege.’ I know that now, and I am fully aware of how much I’ve experienced white privilege, but now I have these two black sons who tell me how it really is.”

Sia also talked about the viral video of her paying for other people at a store as a surprise.

“Oh, well I was at Petco and there was just a couple of people behind me, and I just felt like it. So I said, ‘Here, let me get those for you.’ And they were like, ‘No, no, what are you talking about?” And I was like, ‘Ah, just let me do it. Please let me do it.’ And they let me do it, and that was that,” she recalled. “And then I got a high off of it. So then I went to TJ Maxx and I did it there for about two, three hours. And then someone there, a woman there, brilliant woman obviously, said to me, ‘You shouldn’t be here. You should be at Walmart where they really need your help.’ And I was like, ‘She’s right.'”

She continued, “So me and Selvin got in the car and we drove to Walmart, and we did that for about four hours until my credit cards got stopped. My credit cards got stopped four times. So we had to call and get them reinstated four times, both credit cards. So eight times in total, but it was because I was letting people buy televisions, and telephones and stuff. Originally I was just planning to do groceries, but then I was like, ‘Sure.’ And then they were getting gift cards, and stuff.”