Billy Eichner nailed the monologue as he filled in for Jimmy Kimmel as guest host during Wednesday night’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”
Eichner opened up the show by joking about looking like John Krasinski if he were in “some type of terrible accident,” in case anyone didn’t recognize him.
The comedian said he had “another night of entertainment in our disease-ravaged fascist state” in store for viewers, joking: “I’m here filling in for Jimmy Kimmel tonight because when I think about who deserves two months off from work, it’s definitely public school teachers and the man who won an Emmy for producing a one-night reboot of ‘The Jeffersons’.”
Eichner continued, “I’m here in Los Angeles, where this weekend I’ll be participating in that classic summertime activity: mitigating risk.
“I’ve always wanted to host a late-night talk show,” he went on. “So someday I hope to. Because this is not a late-night talk show. This is like hosting the world’s saddest makeup tutorial. And now, let’s put a comedic spin on some devastating news.”
The “Lion King” star then discussed the ongoing coronavirus crisis, taking a swipe at anyone not wearing masks.
He told the camera, “As you may know, wearing face masks that help prevent COVID-19 has weirdly become some kind of political issue. Angry Americans have been sending death threats to health officials who’ve been advocating for mask requirements, which I think is such a waste of time. You’re already not wearing a mask in the middle of a pandemic. We know you want to kill us. We knew that back when you kept wearing guns to Chipotle.
“America, what are we doing? Americans weren’t even able to take the virus seriously as a public health threat for as long as they took James Franco seriously as a short-story writer.”
Eichner shared, “Look, I get it. I do. You’re over it. Quarantine is hard. I live alone and to be honest, I’m a little sick of people telling me not to socialize. I mean, easy for you to say, you have a husband and kids. I’ve been sitting at home alone for four months watching the Jeffrey Epstein doc on Netflix and saying, ‘How did we let that happen?’ to my broom.”