Nick Viall revealed to season 21 runner-up Raven Gates the reason he couldn’t fully enjoy watching his “Bachelor” journey.

The pair spoke for a special episode of “The Viall Files” podcast, which is available on Viall’s Patreon account. The Bachelor explained how the “sex narrative” in the show made it hard to watch himself in action.

Viall shared, according to Us Weekly: “I mentioned this with Corinne [Olympios], it was hard for me at first, [the] sex narrative with Nick and Liz [Sandoz], ‘Is Nick here just to f**k?’, But, I was so sincere.”

Sandoz made a surprise appearance as a contestant on Viall’s season and revealed how they’d had a one-night stand together at Jade Roper and Tanner Tolbert‘s wedding back in January 2016.

Viall also spoke about the scene in which he and Olympios made out in a bouncy castle while the rest of the contestants watched.

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“I went in thinking I wasn’t going to have sex with anyone and with Corinne in the bouncy castle I was a willing participant with the producers,” Viall said. “I was fine with the edit but it’s hard for me to watch back.”

Viall, who gave Vanessa Grimaldi the final rose over Gates, went on: “Seemingly those childish antics I cringe watching back, [but] it was great TV.

“Even with Vanessa, we didn’t work out, but I was going to pick her. That’s who I fell for. I was nuts about her and I have no regrets about stuff like that. I had a hard time letting go and enjoying. I felt so responsible for everyone.”

Viall and Grimaldi called it quits in August 2017, before she announced her engagement to Josh Wolfe on Monday.