Donald Trump’s taxes have been exposed, and the late-night hosts had a field day.
On Monday night, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers, and Trevor Noah all examined the recent bombshell New York Times investigation into the U.S. president’s tax returns and finances.
“Trump paid Stormy Daniels $130,000, and he screwed the country way more,” Colbert joked.
“And you know how Trump’s always talking about how he’s under audit? Turns out, that’s because the I.R.S. isn’t certain that Trump’s refund was, um, legal,” he continued, “He better win this audit, because if he loses — turns out he would owe the I.R.S. taxes and penalties that could exceed $100 million. [as Trump] ‘Hey, Mexico, forget about that wall — just pay for my tax bill, ’cause Uncle Sam’s going to take my thumbs.’”
On “Late Night”, host Seth Meyers also took issue with the $750 amount.
“$750? I pay more than that in Blockbuster late fees. I’m serious,” he said. “It’s so brazen. I’m shocked we don’t have surveillance video of Trump sneaking out of Fort Knox with gold bars stuffed in his pocket.”
Meyers also had harsh words for Trump’s allies in government and their abuse of the system.
“Trump is unique, he is a product and enabler of a system that shields the wealthy and powerful in our society while crushing everyone else,” he said. “Trump and his allies don’t just benefit from that system, they’re trying to preserve it, which is why they’re so deeply invested in making sure he stays in power any way they can.”
Trevor Noah also went after Trump on “The Daily Show”, commenting, “Hold on, hold on — the president of the country almost never pays taxes? And when he does, he only pays $750? Yo, that s**t pisses me off. Because Trump is always out there like, ‘We’re building back our military.’ We? No, motherf**ker. We’re building back the military — you didn’t pay for s**t. If you didn’t chip in, you don’t get to put your name on the card.”
“And just for those keeping score, Trump paid $750 in taxes and $130,000 to a porn star, which means if the I.R.S. wants to get money from Trump, you guys know what you got to do,” Noah continued.
“And the craziest thing to me is he took a $70,000 deduction on his hair. Because to me, now it looks like two crimes might have been committed here: One is Trump’s tax evasion, and two is whoever swindled Trump into paying $70,000 for what they did to him.”