“Bachelorette” star Mike Johnson is opening up about being sexually assaulted when he was young.

In Making The Love You Want, Johnson says he was assaulted by a babysitter at 5-years-old while living in Germany.

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“My memories of fighting her off me and exploding out the front door to get away are still vivid,” he writes. “Although I knew that what happened to me should never happen to any child, I couldn’t help but think something was wrong with me.”

Johnson didn’t tell his mom about the incident until he wrote the book, telling People, “I knew she would feel as if she was wrong, and I don’t want her to ever feel that way because there’s nothing she could have done. I wanted to protect her.”

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He has spoken to his friends more openly.

“When you talk about it, you gain strength,” he adds. “It was comforting … after those deep, vulnerable conversations, you’d be surprised how much your bond grows.”

Making The Love You Want is out now.