John Legend joins his wife Chrissy Teigen in getting body art to remember their late son.
Tattoo artist Winterstone shared the work on the couples’ wrists with the caption: “My heart is with you, sending you all the love!”
Teigen first debuted the new tattoo in honour of Jack in a picture posted on a “date night” with Legend.
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 1, 2020
Teigen opened up about losing her unborn child at 20 weeks in an essay to Medium.
She began by thanking friends and fans for the kindness they’ve shown her and husband John Legend. “Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes. Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, ‘You probably won’t read this, but…. I can assure you, I did,” she wrote.
She writes of being in the hospital maternity ward, admitting by then “I had already come to terms with what would happen: I would have an epidural and be induced to deliver our 20 week old, a boy that would have never survived in my belly (please excuse these simple terms).”
Phew I just had a full on panic attack of more tear snot just knowing anyone read this. I’ve missed you all terribly. pic.twitter.com/A38rDfyms3
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 27, 2020
After she was diagnosed with “partial placenta abruption,” she received blood transfusions in the hope that her child could be saved. After a few nights, however, “my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye,” she wrote. “He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either.
“I cried a little at first, then went into full-blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness. Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness.”
She insisted that Legend take photos throughout “no matter how uncomfortable it was. I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it. He hated it. I could tell. It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story,” she continued.
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We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough. . . We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever. . . To our Jack – I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you. . . Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts and prayers. We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you. . . We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we’ve been able to experience. But everyday can’t be full of sunshine. On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it.
“I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos,” she added. “How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”
She went on to describe the sadness she felt delivering her stillborn son. “Just writing it makes my nose and eyes tingle with tears,” she wrote. “All I know now is his ashes are in a small box, waiting to be put into the soil of a tree in our new home, the one we got with his room in mind.”
Teigen also shared a regret.
“I feel bad our grief was so public because I made the joy so public. I was excited to share our news with the world. Stories leading up to this had been chronicled for all. It’s hard to look at them now. I was so positive it would be okay. I feel bad that I made you all feel bad. I always will,” she added.
She concluded by explaining why she decided to share her feelings in the essay.
“I wrote this because I knew for me I needed to say something before I could move on from this and return back to life, so I truly thank you for allowing me to do so,” she wrote. “Jack will always be loved, explained to our kids as existing in the wind and trees and the butterflies they see. Thank you so much to every single person who has had us in their thoughts or gone as far as to send us your love and stories. We are so incredibly lucky.
Teigen received notes of appreciation from fellow moms Mindy Kaling, Gabrielle Union, and Hannah Simone.
Beautifully written. Thank you to sharing. ❤️
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 27, 2020
I ♥️ you @chrissyteigen thank you for this, your transparency and all the healing you've inspired. We shouldn't have to suffer in silence and everyone who truly understands is incredibly grateful for this and you, always. https://t.co/m8Znd7vNm4
— Gabrielle Union (@itsgabrielleu) October 27, 2020
Thank you. Truly. Thank you.
— Hannah Simone (@HannahSimone) October 27, 2020