Chrissy Teigen is reflecting on the months that have passed since the loss of her son, Jack, in September.
Taking to Instagram, the model and Cravings cookbook author looked back on the “mentally painful” period, while also telling followers how she is beginning to “see the leaves as orange instead of grey.”
Giving fans an update on her healing process, Teigen wrote, “When I’m old and grey, I will look back on the last two months as being brutal, exhausting, sad, physically challenging, mentally painful b*****s of a couple months. But I refuse to not find humour in both the rage-fits and the outfits.”
She added “I already see the leaves as orange instead of grey, realized the sky is indeed blue and not black and horn honks on my forced morning walks only bring me to my knees half the time. I can make it up my stairs only stopping once or twice instead of every other, and can get out of the bathtub all by myself as long as I have the promise john will dry me off.”
Teigen shared on Sept. 30 that she and John Legend had lost their third child after suffering a series of pregnancy complications that required her to have multiple blood transfusions.
The TV personality has had Jack’s name inked on her wrist near the names of the couple’s other children, Luna, 4, and Miles, 2.
Teigen previously penned a moving essay about her pregnancy loss in late October. She shared that doctors had diagnosed her with partial placenta abruption, which is when the placenta separates from the wall of the uterus before birth.
“After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye. [Jack] just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either,” she recalled. “We had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions, every single one going right through me like we hadn’t done anything at all.”