Halsey had a hard time coping with lockdowns and quarantines at the on-set of the global response to COVID-19.
Halsey, 26, spoke to Byrdie about how the ongoing global crisis has impacted her mental health. Particularly, the inability to tour is something that she had a hard time swallowing.
“I completely spiralled,” Grammy-nominee says. “I went from waking up and someone text[ing] me a schedule of everything I’m doing that day, every single day, to being home and being like, ‘Am I gonna re-watch ‘Euphoria’ for the fifth time?'”
“This industry is not something that is promised to me,” she adds. “I don’t know when the next time that I’ll step on the stage is, to be completely honest with you. I hope it’s soon.”
The “You Should Be Sad” singer describes an anxiety that many can relate to: losing time.
“It breaks my heart not knowing when I’ll get to do the thing that I love again,” she says. “It makes me wonder, am I losing really important years? But also, if that is true and I ended up only getting to have a couple, I would take having a couple over having none any day.”
“I’m exhausted with this industry of Instagram filters,” she says. “It’s gotta be damaging to your brain to constantly be looking at yourself through an altered lens and being disappointed with what your face actually looks like.”
Being swarmed by paparazzi forced Halsey to accept her appearance no matter how flattering or unflattering the circumstances.
“I know what that feels like because when I first started getting publicity of some kind, I would go out and [paparazzi would] take pictures of me,” she dishes. “I can’t control the angle. I can’t control the lighting. I can’t control if it’s my good side or my bad side.
“The pictures would come out and I would just have to look at them and go, ‘Okay. That’s what I look like.’ I don’t get to change it,” Halsey continues. “I have to make peace with my face.”
Ultimately, it was about developing a style that gives Halsey the most confidence — independent of outside chatter.
“I have a pretty good idea of what my ‘prettiest’ look is, by social standards, but it doesn’t mean it’s what I want to look like,” Halsey details. “I definitely don’t think that my most ‘Hollywood’ look is when I have a bald head, but it’s when I feel the most confident.”