George Clooney is People‘s Sexiest Man Alive. He also poops in kitty litter.
Clooney dropped by the “Smartless” podcast with Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Sean Hayes. The two-time Oscar winner used to room with Richard Kind, the latter of whom owned a tiny cat. Bored, Clooney began shovelling poop out of the cat’s litter box and flushing it down the toilet.
“My little kitty. He hasn’t taken a s**t in, I think, three days,” Kind told Clooney after noticing an absence of feces. For some reason, the “Midnight Sky” star opted not to inform Kind about the shoveling and flushing.
“And then he takes the cat to the vet, and they give him this kitty Metamucil. And so now this little kitty is s**tting 15 times a day, and I am scooping it all up, because I have nothing else to do,” Clooney detailed. “I have no idea why. It’s just funny.”
As far as Kind was concerned, his cat still wasn’t having bowel movements. Clooney had an epiphany.
“And then after a couple of weeks, the light bulb goes off, and I realize what I must do,” he told the podcast hosts. “I must take a s**t in the cat box.”
“Now there is this moment,” Clooney continued, “when I’m squatted down over a cat box where I’m going, ‘Really? I mean, it’s funny. It’s good. But I’m not sure it’s how I want to be remembered…’ The cat is like six-inches long. It’s a tiny cat.”
All Clooney had left to do was bide his time.
“I’m watching ‘Jeopardy!’ and Richard comes home. We’re talking for a minute, and he goes to the bathroom,” Clooney said. “He’s in there for like a minute, and I don’t hear anything. Then, all of a sudden I hear, ‘OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.’ And he comes running out, and he’s like, ‘You’re not going to believe this. You have to see this.’
“And when I come in, I’m laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my eyes, and slowly… slowly he figures it out,” the iconic actor explained. “He realizes that I have been shovelling the cat s**t out for weeks, and he gets madder and madder and madder.
“And then finally he says, ‘I understand humour! Defecation doesn’t make me laugh!’”