Paris Hilton is still grappling with the after effects of her sex tape being posted online without her consent.

The tape was infamously released by her ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon in 2004 and occupied a great deal of media and tabloid attention at the time. Hilton spoke about the tape during a Vanity Fair Cocktail Hour Live! interview on Thursday, April 15.

“That will always be something that will hurt me for the rest of my life,” Hilton explained.

“It’s always there in the back of my mind. When it happened, people were so mean about it to me.”

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“The way that I was spoken about on nightly talk shows and the media, to see things with my family was just heartbreaking. I would be in tears every single day, I didn’t want to leave my house, I felt like my life was over.”

Having come through very public trials and tribulations, Hilton now thinks she has stumbled onto the meaning of life. “I just wasn’t happy in my personal life and I thought that money would bring that happiness to me but it really doesn’t,” Hilton said of her younger years.

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“So that’s not my focus anymore. I’m more interested in and care more about the next phase of my life and getting married and having babies.”

She added, “I just feel that that’s the true meaning of life. I’m not really focused on material things like I used to.”

Hilton also spoke about inspiring a new generation of fashion lovers in a clip you can watch below.