The 20-year-old co-host opened up about living a polyamorous life on Wednesday’s episode of the web series, helping her mom and “Gammy” — Jada Pinkett Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Norris — to understand her desire to have multiple intimate partners at the same time.
“Let’s say you haven’t always been the person wanting sex all the time, but your partner is. Are you going to be the person to say, ‘Just because I don’t have these needs, you can’t have them either?'” Willow reasoned in the episode. “That’s one of the reasons why I was interested in poly because I was introduced to it through kind of a nonsexual lens. In my friend group, I’m the only polyamorous person and I have the least sex out of all of my friends.”
Willow explained that she believed the foundation of polyamory is the freedom to create a relationship style that works for you rather than just stepping into monogamy, because that’s what society tells you to do. She pointed out that infidelity is one of the major reasons for divorce, which Jada agreed is a valid point. “Most people are practicing monogamy because they feel like they have no other choice,” Jada noted. “We all know that most people out here doing unethical non-monogamy anyways!”
Gammy, who has been married four times, said that while she is trying to understand the concept of polyamory, she wanted to assert that there are people who “still enjoy marriage as it is today.”
“There is comfort that it provides a social order to life and setting boundaries and commitments,” she said.
Although Willow agreed that marriage “can work” and be “beautiful,” she admitted that she couldn’t see herself walking down the aisle unless there was a “common purpose.”
The episode also featured interviews with solo polyamorous Gabrielle Smith and her boyfriend, Alex, who is married and has relationships outside of her; Gabrielle Alexa Noela, poly “newbie;” Effy Blue, a relationship coach specializing in non-monogamy and Michelle Hy, a second-generation Asian American who is advocating for normalizing non-monogamy in the Asian community.
At the end of the episode, Gammy said she’s realized it’s not important for her to understand anyone’s decision to be polyamorous. “It’s important that I be able to listen without judgment and let you do your thing,” she said. “It doesn’t really have anything to do with me. It’s not for us to decide for you how you’re supposed to be living your life.”
Watch the full episode of “Red Table Talk” on Facebook Watch. “Red Table Talk” returns with new episodes on Wednesday at 9 a.m. PT / 12 p.m. ET.
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