Michael Costello says alleged bullying by Chrissy Teigen made him want to kill himself. The fashion designer opened up about his interactions with Teigen on Instagram on Monday, sharing that he is still “traumatized, depressed and has thoughts of suicide” following Teigen and her stylist, Monica Rose, allegedly trying to ruin his career. ET has reached out to reps for Teigen and Rose for comment.

“For the past 7 years, I’ve lived with a deep, unhealed trauma,” Costello wrote, sharing that he was hesitant to come forward out of fear of losing “some of my most profitable brand relationships; in fear of losing friends and allies; and in fear of being blocklisted [sic] even more by the power elites who run the industry.”

Costello referenced a 2014 comment on his Instagram page by Teigen, in which she allegedly called him a racist.

“She apparently formed her own opinion of me based on a photoshopped comment floating around the internet which has now been proven to be false by Instagram and since taken down,” he said. “When I reached out to Chrissy Teigen to communicate that I was the victim of a vindictive cyber slander, and that everything she thought I was is not who I am, she told me that my career was over and that all my doors will be shut from there on.”

Costello claimed that over the next few years, he was pulled off jobs “with no explanation” and received calls from mutual friends and colleagues that Teigen and Rose had allegedly “gone out of their way to threaten people and brands that if they were in any shape or form associated with me, they would not work with any of them.”

“Each time I have pleaded with Chrissy Teigen or Monica Rose to see the whole story before believing a false narrative a former disgruntled employee cast upon me, they didn’t give me the time of day,” he continued.

Because of this, Costello said he wanted to kill himself.

“I didn’t see the point of living. There was no way I can ever escape from being the target of the powerful elites in Hollywood, who actually do have the powers to close doors with a single text,” he wrote. “Not only was I the target of cyber defamation, I was also getting blocklisted [sic] in real life.”

“As a result of what Chrissy Teigen did to me in 2014, I am not okay. I may never be okay, but today, I am choosing to speak my truth,” Costello wrote, claiming that Teigen and Rose haven’t reached out and allegedly “would rather see me suffer and laugh at my demise.”

Costello — who said he’s not seeking sympathy from followers, Teigen or Rose — then included apparent screenshots of past conversations with Teigen. One of the messages allegedly from Teigen reads in part, “racist people like you deserve to suffer and die. You might as well be dead. Your career is over, just watch.”

While Teigen has since publicly addressed her past online behaviour, Costello claims the cookbook author has not reached out to apologize personally.

In a subsequent statement, Costello said, “I want to be clear – I do not wish ill on anyone. We are all works in progress and we deserve the opportunity to prove that we can do better. But progress takes time. We must show through actions that we have changed. After all, actions speak much louder than a 10-minute apology written on a notepad. However, nothing takes away from the years of trauma being bullied and blacklisted in the industry has left me. I am not out for revenge. I only wish to speak my truth because I have been silenced for so long.”

He added, “I’m still waiting for Chrissy Teigen and anyone who bullied me to reach out to me. If they truly acknowledge that their actions are wrong, I welcome them with open arms to have a real conversation.”

Past tweets of Teigen’s resurfaced last month, as Courtney Stodden alleged in a Daily Beast interview that Teigen used to send them disparaging comments on social media. Teigen publicly apologized to Stodden, calling herself an “insecure, attention seeking troll,” took a break from her social platforms, and exited her role on “Never Have I Ever” amid the controversy.

Costello’s post comes hours after Teigen returned to the internet to address her previous bullying behavior. In a lengthy piece, Teigen said she was ashamed of her previous comments and “in the process of privately reaching out to the people I insulted.”

If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help, resources are available. In case of an emergency, please call 911 for immediate help.

The Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention, Depression Hurts and Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 all offer ways of getting help if you, or someone you know, may be suffering from mental health issues.

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Chrissy Teigen Publicly Apologizes to Courtney Stodden