Britney Spears has spoken. The 39-year-old pop star spoke out against her conservatorship at a hearing on Wednesday, asking the court to terminate it in order to get her “life back.”

Spears, who has been under the legal conservatorship for 13 years, joined the Los Angeles court hearing remotely amid COVID-19 protocols, and did not hold back in her account of her experiences. Speaking for over 20 minutes, Spears detailed why she believes the conservatorship is “abusive,” including claims that she has been prevented from removing her IUD in order to have more kids.

“I’ve been in denial. I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized. You know, fake it till you make it, but now I’m telling you the truth, OK,” she said. “I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m so angry, it’s insane and I’m depressed. I cry every day.”

“It’s enough and it makes no sense at all… I’m done,” Britney continued, accusing her father and those involved in her conservatorship of “criminal” behaviour. “I want to sue my family, to be totally honest with you.”

After a brief recess, Jamie’s attorney said, “He is sorry to see his daughter suffering and in so much pain. Mr. Spears loves his daughter and misses her very much. ”

Read Spears’ full statement to the court below, portions of which have been edited for clarity:

Britney: I just got a new phone so bare with me. I have this written down. I have a lot to say. So bare with me. Basically a lot has happened since two years ago… the last time. I wrote all this down… last time I was in court. I will be honest with you, I haven’t been back to court in a long time because I don’t think I was heard on any level when I came to court the last time. I brought four sheets of papers in my hands and wrote in length what I had been through the last four months before I came there. The people who did that to me should not be able to walk away so easily. I’ll recap.

I was on tour in 2018, I was forced to do. My management said if I don’t do this tour I will have to… 

Judge: Ms. Spears, I hate to interrupt you. My court reporter is taking down what you’re saying so you have to speak a little more slowly. 

Britney: Oh, yes. Okay. I apologize, great. 

The people who did this to me should not get away and to be able to walk away so easily. To recap: I was on tour in 2018. I was forced to. My management said if I don’t do this tour I will have to find an attorney and by contract, my own management could sue me, if I didn’t follow through with the tour. He handed me a sheet of paper as I got off the stage in Vegas and said I had to sign it. It was very threatening and scary. And with the conservatorship, I couldn’t even get my own attorney so out of fear, I went ahead and I did the tour. When I came off that tour a new show in Las Vegas was supposed to take place. I started rehearsing early, but it was hard because I’d been doing Vegas for four years and I needed a break in between. But no, I was told this is the timeline and this is how it’s going to go. I rehearsed four days a week.

Half of the time in the studio and half of the other time in a Westlake studio, I was basically directing most of the show. With my whereabouts, where I preferred to rehearse, and actually did most of the choreography, meaning I taught my dancers, my new choreography myself. I take everything I do very seriously. There’s tons of video with me at rehearsals, I wasn’t good… I was great. 

I led a room of 16 new dancers in rehearsals. It’s funny to hear my manager’s side of the story. They all said I wasn’t participating in rehearsals and I never agreed to take my medication, which my medication is only taken in the mornings, never at rehearsal, they don’t even see me. So why are they even claiming that? When I said no to one dance move into rehearsals, it was as if I planted a huge bomb somewhere. And I said no, I don’t want to do it this way. After that my management, my dancers, and my assistant of the new people that were supposed to do the new show all went into a room, shut the door and didn’t come out for at least 45 minutes.

Ma’am, I’m not here to be anyone’s slave. I can say no to a dance move. I was told by my, at the time therapist, Dr. Benson, who died… that my manager called him and then that moment and told him I wasn’t cooperating, or following the guidelines in rehearsals. And, he also said I wasn’t taking my medication, which is so dumb because I’ve had the same lady, every morning for the past eight years, give me my same medication, and I’m nowhere near these stupid people. It made no sense at all. 

There was a week period where they were nice to me, and I told them I don’t want to do it that way. They said if I don’t want to do the new Vegas show, I don’t have to, because I was getting really nervous. I said, I can wait. It was like, they told me I could wait. It was like lifting literally 200 pounds off of me when they said I don’t have to do the show anymore, because it was… I was really, really hard on myself and it was too much. I couldn’t take it anymore. 

So I remember telling my assistant, you know, ‘I feel weird if I say no. I feel like they’re going to come back and be mean to me or punish me or something.’ Three days later after I said no to Vegas my therapist sat me down in a room and said he had a million phone calls about how I was not cooperating in rehearsals and I haven’t been taking my medication. All of this was false. He immediately the next day put me on lithium… Out of nowhere, he took me off my normal meds I’d been on for five years. 

And lithium is a very, very strong and completely different medication compared to what I was used to. You can go mentally impaired if you take too much, if you stay on it longer than five months. But he put me on that and I felt drunk. I really couldn’t even take up for myself. I couldn’t even have a conversation with my mom or dad really about anything. I told them I was scared and my doctor had me on six different nurses, with this new medication, come to my home, stay with me to monitor me on this new medication, which I never wanted to be on to begin with. There were six different nurses in my home and they wouldn’t let me get in my car to go anywhere for a month. Not only did my family not do a goddamn thing, my dad was all for it. Anything that happened to me had to be approved by my dad and my dad only. He acted like he didn’t know that I was told I had to be tested over the Christmas holidays before they sent me away when my kids went home to Louisiana. He was the one who approved all of it. My whole family did nothing. Over the two-week holiday, a lady came into my home for four hours a day, sat me down and did a psych test on me. It took forever, but I was told I had to, then after that I got off. Oh wait, I was told I had to. Then after I got a phone call from my dad saying after I did the psych test with this lady, basically saying I had failed the test or whatever.

‘I’m sorry, Britney, you have to listen to your doctors. They’re planning to send you to a small home in Beverly Hills to do a small rehab program that we’re going to make up for you. You’re going to pay $60,000 a month for this.’ I cried on the phone for an hour and he loved every minute of it. The control he had over someone as powerful as me, as he loved the control to hurt his own daughter 100,000 per cent. He loved it. I packed my bags and went to that place. I worked seven days a week no days off, which in California, the only similar thing to this is called sex trafficking. Making anyone work against their will, taking all their possessions away — credit card, cash, phone, passport, car and placing them in a home where they work with the people who live with them. They all lived in the house with me —  the nurses, the 24 seven security. There was one chef that came there and cooked for me daily during the weekdays. They watched me change every day naked — morning, noon and night. I had no privacy door for my room. I gave eight gallons of blood a week. If I didn’t do any of my meetings and work from eight to six at night, which is 10 hours a day, seven days a week, no days off, I wouldn’t be able to see my kids or my boyfriend. I never had a say in my schedule. They always told me I had to do this. And Ma’am, I will tell you, sitting in a chair 10 hours a day, seven days a week, it ain’t fun… and especially when you can’t walk out the front door. And that’s why I’m telling you this again two years later, after I’ve lied and told the whole world I’m okay, and I’m happy. It’s a lie. 

I thought, just maybe I [have] said that enough. Maybe I might become happy because I’ve been in denial. I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized, you know, fake it till you make it. But now I’m telling you the truth, okay. I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m so angry, it’s insane and I’m depressed. I cry every day and the reason I’m telling you this is because I don’t think how the state of California can have all this written in the court documents from the time I showed up and do absolutely nothing. [They] just hired, with my money, another person to keep and keep my dad on board. 

Ma’am, my dad and anyone involved in this conservatorship and my management who played a huge role in punishing me, ma’am, they should be in jail.

Their cruel tactics working for Miley Cyrus as she smokes joints onstage at the VMAs — nothing is ever done to this generation for doing wrong things. But my precious body, who has worked for my dad for the past f***** 13 years, trying to be so good and pretty. So perfect. When he works me so hard. When I do everything I’ve told in the state of California allowed my father — ignorant father — to take his own daughter, who only has a role with me if I work with him, they’ve set back the whole course and allowed him to do that to me. That’s given these people I’ve worked for way too much control.

They also threatened me and said, If I don’t go, then I have to go to court, and it will be more embarrassing to me if the judge publicly makes scope of the evidence we have, you have to go. I was advised, for my image I need to go ahead and just go and get it over with. They said that to me —  I don’t even drink alcohol. I should drink alcohol, considering what they put my heart through. 

Also the Bridges facility they sent me to — I was doing this program for four months so the last two months, I went to a bridges facility — none of the kids there did the program, they never showed up for any of them. You didn’t have to do anything if you didn’t want to, how come they always made me go? How come I was always threatened by my dad and anybody that persisted and aided in this conservatorship. If I don’t do this… what they tell me to enslave me to do, they’re going to punish me. 

The last time I spoke to you by just keeping the conversation going, and also keeping my dad in the loop, made me feel like I was dead — like I didn’t matter, like nothing had been done to me, like you thought I was lying or something. I’m telling you again because I’m not lying. I want to feel heard and I’m telling you this again so maybe you can understand the depth and the degree and the damage that they did to me back then. I want changes and I want changes going forward. I deserve changes. I was told I have to sit down and be evaluated — again. If I want to end the conservatorship, ma’am, I didn’t know I could petition the conservatorship to end it. I’m sorry for my ignorance, but I honestly didn’t know that.

I don’t think I owe anyone to be evaluated. I’ve done more than enough. I don’t feel like I should even be in the room with anyone to offend me by trying to question my capacity of intelligence, whether I need to be in this stupid conservatorship or not. I’ve done more than enough. 

I don’t owe these people anything, especially me, the one that has roofed and fed tons of people on tour, on the road. It’s embarrassing and demoralizing, what I’ve been through and that’s the main reason I’ve never said it openly. And mainly I didn’t want to say it openly because I honestly don’t think anyone would believe me, to be honest with you. The Paris Hilton story on what they did to her at that school, I didn’t believe any of it. I’m sorry… I’m an outsider and I’ll just be honest, I didn’t believe it. And maybe I’m wrong, and that’s why I didn’t want to say any of this to anybody, to the public because people would make fun of me, or laugh at me and say, she’s lying, she’s got everything, she’s Britney Spears. I’m not lying. 

I just want my life back and it’s been 13 years and it’s enough. It’s been a long time since I’ve owned my money, and it’s my wish and my dream for all of this to end without being tested. Again it makes no sense whatsoever for the state of California to sit back and literally watch me with their own two eyes make a living for so many people, and pay so many people trucks and buses on tour on the road with me and be told… I’m not good enough.

But I’m great at what I do and I allow these people to control what I do, ma’am. It’s enough, it makes no sense at all. Now, going forward, I’m not willing to meet or see anyone I’m not with. [I’ve met with] enough people against my will. I’m done. All I want is to own my money, for this to end and my boyfriend to drive me in his f****** car. I would honestly like to sue my family to be totally honest with you. 

I also would like to be able to share my story with the world, and what they did to me instead of it being a hush hush secret to benefit all of them. I want to be able to be heard on what they did to me by making me keep this on for so long, it’s not good for my heart. I’ve been so angry and I cry every day —  it concerns me. I’m told, I’m not allowed to expose the people who did this to me. 

For my sanity, I need you the judge to approve me to do an interview where I can be heard on what they did to me. And actually, I have the right to use my voice and [speak up] for myself. My attorney says I can’t. It’s not good. I can’t let the public know anything, they did to me and by not saying anything, is saying it’s okay. I don’t know what I said here— It’s not okay I would much, actually I don’t want to interview I’d much rather just have an open call to you for the press to hear, which I didn’t know today we’re doing so thank you. Instead of having an interview, honestly, I need that to get it off my heart, the anger and all of it, that’s been happening. It’s not fair. 

They’re telling me lies about me openly, even my family. They do interviews to anyone they want on news stations, my own family doing interviews, and talking about the situation and making me feel so stupid and I can’t say one thing, and my own people say I can’t stand say anything. 

It’s been two years, I want a recorded call to you actually, we’re doing this now — which I didn’t know that we’re doing. My lawyer, Sam, has been very scared for me to go forward because he’s saying if I speak up, I’m being overworked in that facility of that rehab place. He told me I should keep it to myself. I would personally like to — actually, I’ve grown a personal relationship with Sam, I’ve been talking to him like three times a week now, we’ve kind of built a relationship but I haven’t really had the opportunity by my own self to actually handpick my own lawyer. And I would like to be able to do that.

The main reason why I’m here is because I want to end the conservatorship without having to be evaluated. I’ve done a lot of research ma’am and there’s a lot of judges who [end] conservatorships for people without them having to be evaluated, all the time. The only times they don’t is if a concerned family member says something’s wrong with this person and considered and otherwise, and considering my family has lived off my conservatorship for 13 years, I won’t be surprised if one of them has something to say going forward, and say, ‘We don’t think this should end, we have to help her.’ Especially if I get my fair turn exposing what they did to me.

Also, I want to speak to you about my obligations, which I personally don’t think at the very moment, I owe anybody anything. I have three meetings a week I have to attend no matter what. I just don’t like feeling like I work for the people who I pay. I don’t like being told I have to, no matter what, even if I’m sick. Jody [Montgomery], the conservator, says I have to see my coach even when I’m sick. I would like to do one meeting a week with a therapist… I shouldn’t be told I have to be available three times a week to these people I don’t know. I’m talking to you today because I feel again, yes even Jody is starting to kind of take it too far with me. They have me going to therapy twice a week, and psychiatrists. It takes too much out of me going to this man.

Number one, I’m scared of people. I don’t trust people with what I’ve been through. And the clever setup of being in Westlake, one of the most exposed places in Westlake, which today, yesterday paparazzis he showed me coming out of the place, literally crying in therapy. It’s embarrassing and it’s demoralizing. I deserve privacy when I go and have therapy, either at my home, like I’ve done for eight years. Or when Dr. Benson — the man that died — I went to a place similar to what I went to in Westlake which was very exposed and really bad. Okay, so where was I? It was like, it’s I was identical to Dr. Benson, who illegally, yes 100% abused me by the treatment he gave me, to be totally honest with you. I was so lucky.

Judge interrupts Britney to slow down. 

Britney: My team is pushing it with me again. I have trapped phobias in small rooms because of the trauma locking me up. And for four months in that place, it’s not okay for them to send me — sorry, I’m going too fast — to that small room like that twice a week with another new therapist that I pay that I never even approved. I don’t want to do that. And I haven’t done anything to deserve this treatment.

It’s not okay to force me to do anything I don’t want to do by law. And by law, Jody and this so-called team should honestly, I should be able to sue them for threatening me and saying, if I don’t go and do these meetings twice a week, we can, we can’t let you have your money and go to Maui on your vacations. You have to do what you’re told for this program and then you will be able to go, but it was a very clever thing. One of the most exposed places in Westlake, knowing I have the hot topic of the conservatorship, that over five paparazzis are going to show up and [photograph] me coming out of that place. I begged them to make sure that they did this at my home, so I would have privacy. The conservatorship, from the beginning, whoever it is in the conservatorship [is] making money, [I’m] making them money and myself money and working.

That whole statement right there, the conservatorship should end. I shouldn’t be in a conservatorship if I can work and provide money and work for myself and pay other people. It makes no sense. The laws need to change. What state allows people to own another person’s money and account and threaten them by saying, ‘You can’t spend your money unless you do what we want you to do.’  And I’m paying them. 

Ma’am, I’ve worked since I was 17 years old, you have to understand how that is for me every morning. I get up to know I can’t go somewhere unless I meet people I don’t know every week in our office, identical to the one where the therapist was very abusive to me. I truly believe this conservatorship is abusive and that we can sit here all day and say, ‘Oh conservatorships are here to help people’ but ma’am, there’s 1,000 conservatorships that are abusive as well. I don’t feel like I can live a full life. I don’t owe them to go see a man, I don’t know and share with him my problems. I don’t even believe in therapy. I always think you take it to God. 

I want to end the conservatorship without being evaluated. In the meantime, I want this therapist once a week. He can either come to my home. No, I just want him to come to my home, I’m not willing to go to Westlake and be embarrassed by all these paparazzi, these scummyy paparazzi laughing at my faces while I’m crying coming out and taking my pictures as all these white nice dinners, where people drinking wine at restaurants watching these places. They set me up by sending them to the most exposed places, places, and I told them I didn’t want to go there because I knew paparazzi would show up there.

They only gave me two options for therapists and I’m not sure how you make your decisions, ma’am, but this is the only chance for me to talk to you for a while. I need your help so if you can just kind of let me know where your head is. I don’t really honestly know what to say but my requests are to end the conservatorship without being evaluated. I want to petition basically to end the conservatorship. I want it to be petitioned but I don’t want to be evaluated — to be sat in a room with people four hours a day like they did me before, and they made it even worse for me after that happened. I just, I’m honestly new at this, and I’m doing research on all these things. I do know common sense and the method that things can end it for people, it has ended without them being evaluated. I just want you to take that and consider it… consideration. 

Also took a year during COVID to get me any self care methods. During COVID she said there were no services available. She’s lying, ma’am. My mom went to the spa twice in Louisiana during COVID. For a year I didn’t have my nails done, no hairstyling and no massages, no acupuncture, nothing for a year. I saw the maids in my home each week with [their] nails done differently each time. She made me feel like my dad does. Very similar, her behaviour and my dad but just a different dynamic. Team wants me to work and stay home, instead of having longer vacations. They are used to me sort of doing a weekly routine for them and I’m over it. I don’t feel like I owe them anything at this point, they need to be reminded, they actually work for me. They tricked me by sending me… (Britney catches herself repeating what she said.)

Also I was supposed to be able to, I have a friend that I used to do AA meetings with. I did AA for two years. I did three meetings a week, you know, I met a bunch of women there and I’m not able to see my friends that live eight minutes away from me, which I find extremely strange. I feel like they’re making me feel like I live in a rehab program. This is my home. I’d like for my boyfriend to be able to drive me in his car, and I want to meet with a therapist once a week, not twice a week, and I want him to come to my home, because I actually know I do need a little therapy.

I would like to progressively move forward and I want to have the real deal, I want to be able to get married and have a baby. I was told right now in the conservatorship I’m not able to get married or have a baby. I have an IUD inside of myself right now so I don’t get pregnant. I wanted to take the IUD out, so I could start trying to have another baby, but this so-called team won’t let me go to the doctor to take it out because they don’t want me to have children, any more children.

So basically this conservatorship is doing me way more harm than good. I deserve to have a life. I’ve worked my whole life, I deserve to have a two to three year break and just, you know, do what I want to do.

But I do feel like there is a crutch here and I feel like… I feel open and I’m okay to talk to you today about it. I wish I could stay with you on the phone forever because when I get off the phone with you all of a sudden, I hear all these no’s. No no no, and then all of a sudden I get, I feel ganged up on and I feel bullied and I feel left out and alone. And I’m tired of feeling alone. I deserve to have the same rights as anybody does by having a child, a family, any of those things, and more so. And that’s all I wanted to say to you and thank you so much for letting me speak to you today.

See more on Spears in the video below.

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