Holly Madison spoke candidly about her struggle with body dysmorphia while in the Playboy Mansion in a new TikTok video.
The model, 41, shared a picture from 2005, showing her in the famous costume after looking for one for a recent post.
“I came across one, and it reminded me of a moment in my life where I was watching a playback of myself in a fashion show and I thought, Oh my God, I need to lose weight.”
The star, who left the mansion in 2008 after seven years of residence, said she shared the image because it “might help people realize that sometimes our body dysmorphia is off the charts.”
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The “Girls Next Door” alum continued, “I really feel like worrying about what I look like has gotten in the way of me living my best life and being as happy as I could be and really enjoying life as much as I could.”
Madison asked her fans to think about their own relationships with their bodies and if they’re “holding you back by feeling bad about yourself.”
“It’s not worth it,” she insisted. “It’s not worth feeling bad about yourself. Like, there are things we all want to improve about ourselves but it’s not even worth taking the time to be miserable.”
Sharing the full photo again, Madison recalled feeling “terrified” at the time, telling fans: “[I] thought I had gained weight, and thought I hadn’t stuck to my diet, and I thought my thighs were huge and I thought, I need to lose five pounds, at least.
“And that’s ridiculous. I look like a stick.”