The last few years have been difficult for Kathy Griffin.
In a new interview with ABC News‘ “Nightline” airing Monday night, the comedian opens up about a secret addition to pills and considering in 2020.
Many of the troubles began in the wake of her controversial photoshoot in 2017, in which she held up a fake Donald Trump severed head.
“I mean, legit death threats with everything, from online, which is the Google pictures of the house, the address. I mean, folks showed up to my husband’s parents’ house,” she recalls. “They tracked my sister down when she was dying of cancer in the hospital and called her … I picked up the call and heard it myself because I happened to be visiting her.”
Griffin continues, “I thought, ‘Well, I don’t even drink… Big deal, I take a couple pills now and again, who doesn’t?’ Also, my age was a big part of it. I mean, who bottoms out and tries to take their life at 59? It’s almost a joke, right, and by the way, someday, this will all be comedy. Trust me… I was laughing to stay alive. And what I found is I felt like if I can’t make others laugh, then there’s no purpose for me to live. There’s no reason for me to live.”
As time wore on, the 60-year-old became addicted to pills, which led her to nearly attempt suicide.
“I started thinking about suicide more and more as I got into the pill addiction, and it became almost an obsessive thought. I started really convincing myself it was a good decision,” Griffin said. “I got my living revocable trust in order. I had all my ducks in a row. I wrote the note — the whole thing.”
Thankfully, Griffin was able to get help and she has been sober now for over a year.
“The detox was nasty,” she says. “I mean, it was months. I mean, the tremors … and the flop sweat, and I was so unsteady. Like, when I would brush my teeth, my husband had to hold my hips so I wouldn’t fall over.”
She adds, “I would go to, like, two Zoom meetings a day, and the sober clinicians would come over every single day and they would pee-test me. And every day, my goal was to … test clean.”
In her “Nightline” interview, Griffin also opens up about her recent diagnosis with lung cancer, which she revealed on social media on Monday.
The Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention, Depression Hurts and Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 all offer ways of getting help if you, or someone you know, may be suffering from mental health issues.