Nightbirde is soaring and crashing with emotions after her exit from “America’s Got Talent”.

The fan-favourite singer withdrew from “AGT” in August due to health complications amid her battle with cancer. Nightbirde, 30, posted an update on Wednesday, the same night “AGT” crowned its season 16 winner.

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“It’s so hard for me to not be on the ‘AGT’ stage for the finals this week. I bet you never saw someone win so hard and lose so hard at the same time. This isn’t how the story was supposed to go,” Nightbirde began. “I spend a lot of time squeezing my eyes shut and trying to remember what I believe; counting my breaths in the grief cloud; burying my face into God’s t-shirt.

“I remind Him sometimes, (and not kindly) that I believed Him when He told me the story He wrote for me is good, and that He never stops thinking of me. I must be a fool in love, because even from under all this debris, I still believe Him. And when I’m too angry to ask Him to sit on my bed until I fall asleep, He still stays.”

Nightbirde’s post was both painful and endlessly hopeful.

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“Someone released a fist full of wishing stars at sunset (STAR BALLOONS?! I mean WHAT!!) and yes, I sure did wish on every one,” she continued. “Here we are, you and I, signing off on the risk of REBELLIOUSLY HOPING for better days. Let us not be blind to our own glory.

“I’m raging and crying and hoping with everyone who needs to rage and cry and hope tonight. Also wishing on helium balloons.”