AnnaLynne McCord is opening up about the practices she used to cope with her childhood abuse and trauma.
In a new interview with “The Doctors”, the “90210” actress detailed her decision to try BDSM as a way to deal with being sexually abused, revealing it ended up having dire consequences on her dissociative identity disorder, the disease formerly known as multiple personality disorder.
According to McCord, she experimented with bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism to counter her numbness to pain, which developed from her abusive past.
“I think [BDSM] actually was all to do with pain because when I was self-harming and I could cut and feel something, finally. I discovered very early on with a partner who was quite aggressive, that my body responded chemically very well to that,” she said. “And I wanted to explore that and I went all the way down the rabbit hole with that, and I couldn’t feel anything.”
Adding, “It was like a thrill-seeking thing at a certain point to up the ante to see how far I could take it. I always wanted to die, so if I died doing that, I used to joke that that’d be a way to go.”
McCord has previously opened up about her dissociative identity disorder, telling the “Call Me Daddy” podcast back in August, “You are not multiple personalities when you experience DID — you are fragmented versions of yourself. The reason that the brain splits in this regard, it’s always a protective mechanism.”
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And one of the versions of herself, which she refers to as “alters,” was called “Little Anna.”
“One of my alters, she didn’t want anything to do with me because I had harmed her body,” she told “The Doctors”. “I had harmed the house she lived in for so long. How could I be the one that was going to help her? I was scary. I was a monster.”
She added that “Little Anna” was her “pathway home to love.”
McCord’s full episode of “The Doctors” will air Thursday.
