Halsey is a commercially and critically adored artist, but the road to music superstardom has been a peculiar one for the “Without Me” singer.

Halsey, 27, graces Billboard‘s Grammys package alongside idols Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross of Nine Inch Nails. Reznor and Ross collaborated with Halsey on their latest album, If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power.

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“I say sometimes that I never meant to be a pop star, it happened by accident, and that’s partially true,” Halsey says of the collaboration. “You know, the rest of it is incredibly calculated and meticulous.

“But part of that is true, and it was a really validating and invigorating opportunity to get back to the style of writing and collaborating that made me fall in love with music, to begin with.”

Halsey also opens up about how motherhood has affected their creative process as a musician.

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“Being a mother to my son makes being a musician seem pretty boring,” they say. “Something really amazing happened when I did have my son, which is the absolute, glorious eradication and death of my ego. Nothing matters when I go home to him. He thinks I’m perfect and great and everything.

“That’s going to be a whole other beast to tackle — parental guilt — but for the time being, I’m in bliss about it. The beauty of that is that it means I’m going to create when I want to. Hopefully, that means that whatever I make is going to be something that I’m just burning to get out there. Because the only expectation I have for myself is to be a really good mom, and the rest will fall into place around that.”