Will Smith is getting more candid than he’s ever been.

In an exclusive excerpt from his upcoming memoir, titled Will, the iconic MC and actor reveals that he once contemplated killing his father.

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As Smith explains, his father — U.S. Air Force veteran Willard Carrol Smith Sr. — was sick at the time, with his cancer growing worse. Grappling with the trauma of his childhood, Smith considered killing his dad in order to avenge his mother.

He writes about his thought process at the time, “That when I was big enough, when I was strong enough, when I was no longer a coward, I would slay him. I paused at the top of the stairs. I could shove him down, and easily get away with it. I’m Will Smith. No one would ever believe I killed my father on purpose. I’m one of the best actors in the world. My 911 call would be Academy Award level. As the decades of pain, anger, and resentment coursed then receded, I shook my head and proceeded to wheel Daddio to the bathroom.”

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Smith’s parents separated when he was 13 years old and finally divorced around the year 2000. Willard Sr. passed away in 2016.

The actor’s memoir hits bookshelves on Nov. 9, alongside the premiere of his new YouTube Originals series “The Best Shape of My Life” on Nov. 8.