Maya Vander is grieving the loss of her baby, Mason Miller.
The “Selling Sunset” star shared the heartbreaking news last week that at 38 weeks into her pregnancy she had a stillbirth. In a new interview with E! News, Vander opens up about the tragedy.
Talking about why she decided to be public about the stillbirth, Vander says, “I share my pregnancy in the show. It was almost a joke that I’m always pregnant in the show. Season 5, which will come out in a couple of months, we filmed when I was very much pregnant. So, I knew at some point, I have to obviously share because I can’t hide the fact that I didn’t have a baby.”
She also adds, “When I had this experience, I realized that I’m not the only woman who had this experience. When I Googled, I read a bunch of stories about other women who went through same situation that I’m in right now. For me personally, it helps me with other women who experienced what I have and who intimately understand the pain—the painful situation—because no one prepares for something like that.”
Vander relays what had transpired, “Prior to my regular weekly checkup, I felt less movements and I went to a private ultrasound just to make sure there are heartbeats—and everything was fine. Then, a few days later, I went to my regular gyno appointment and they couldn’t find the heartbeat. I did an ultrasound and they confirmed, unfortunately, that the baby died. It was just a matter of like, ‘I’m 38 weeks. I need to have a delivery. I need to go to the hospital and deliver the baby.’ I just went to the hospital and I went to a delivery, and unfortunately the outcome was not what I was anticipating.”
She continues, “We didn’t know what to do first. I’m like, I don’t even want to see the baby and get attached but then I’m like, you know what? It is my baby. It is my son. We don’t know what happened. We sent the body to an autopsy and hopefully we will have some answers. That can take 30 to 45 days, unfortunately. Meantime, we decided to do a burial to give him the respect that he deserves and a place for us to go and grieve. It’s a very tough process to look at your baby basically dead. I don’t wish it on anyone.”
Vander adds, “I didn’t have the chance to connect to him as much but it just kills me that he didn’t get the love that I could’ve possibly given him, because I was ready. I was so ready for a third kid. And it’s just not fair to him. I just don’t know what happened, so that’s the closure that I still don’t have. Maybe with the autopsy we’ll get the closure, but as of now everything is a big question mark.”
Asked about how her two children have been handling things, Vander says, “My daughter doesn’t understand because she’s like one-and-a-half. My son, he doesn’t fully understand. But when he sees my husband and I, when we cry, he tells us, ‘Don’t be sad, Mommy,’ and it breaks my heart even more. He didn’t ask me, ‘Where is the baby?’ because I don’t think he understands. I think once they do understand, I would always tell them they had a brother. They will know the story.”
Thankfully, Vander has a lot of people around her providing the support she needs during this difficult time.
“I wish I could just be a strong person and just brush everything off, but it’s just not the case. People know my pregnancy because of the show, so a lot of women reach out to me,” she says. “They send me emails. They share their stories. It helps me to read—and especially a lot of them did have a successful delivery and a baby after. That’s something that I would really like to have: I really would like to have another baby and have a nice sweet experience at the end.”
Vander originally shared the tragic news in an Instagram post on Dec. 10, writing, “Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. I had a stillbirth at 38 weeks. I always heard of it but never imagined I’ll be part of the statistics.”
“Instead of delivering a baby, I get to go home with a memory box… I do not wish this on anyone,” Vander continues. “What was a regular weekly checkup turned into a nightmare that I never imagine[d] will happen to me. Given I share my pregnancies in the show I knew I’ll have to post about this and avoid the ‘when is your due date’ question. You will always be in our heart Mason Miller.”
The reality TV realtor is a mom to Aiden, 2, and Elle, 19 months. She announced her third pregnancy in the summer. “Here we go again,” Vander captioned the July 22 Instagram photo of her husband, whose name she keeps private, holding her stomach. “Baby number 3 will be our Christmas/ Chanukah present!”
In early November, Vander shared a message with her followers reflecting on 2021 as it comes to an end. “The last few months have FLOWN by… between work, kids, & filming,” she expressed in the Nov. 9 post. “Can’t believe 2022 is almost here & so is baby number 3!!”
“As the holidays are approaching & schedules start to get even busier, don’t forget to take it all in and remember all the things you are grateful for,” she continued.
A few days ago, Vander appeared on the Domenick Nat Show podcast, where she opened up about the fate of her “Selling Sunset” future as her family grows.