Billie Eilish didn’t hold back when telling Howard Stern all the gory details of her nerves before her recent “Saturday Night Live” appearance.
The singer, who appeared on “The Howard Stern Show” alongside her brother Finneas, told the host, “Preparing for ‘SNL’ was f**king nuts, dude. It was literally alien. I cried every single day of the week. No joke at all,” explaining how she loves acting but “that’s not my world.”
“I went to the Green Room, cried, and came back,” she recalled of the table-read break. “I was just scared. It’s like, it’s ‘SNL’… These amazingly talented actors are surrounding a table where, somehow, I’m the main course.”
“I had a full-body reaction,” Eilish said. “I threw up on a plane coming here. I had crazy s**ts when I got here like you wouldn’t believe… you know, ones where you have to get fully naked on the toilet.”
The singer went on, “I’ve been anxious and nervous… just because it’s not my world and I’m so petrified of people thinking I suck,” adding that her nerves only went away once she stepped out in front of a live studio audience during the dress rehearsal.
“As soon as I saw the crowd and felt their joy, it was like I wasn’t nervous. It was relieving, somehow… I was like, ‘Oh, this is actually really incredible, and I don’t have to worry. This is just for fun.’”
Eilish also shared her thoughts on pornography and dating during the tell-all chat.
“As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace. I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest. I started watching porn when I was like 11,” she said, telling Stern how it helped her feel like “one of the guys.”
“I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn.”
Eilish went on, “The first few times I had sex, I was not saying no to things that were not good. It was because I thought that’s what I was supposed to be attracted to.
“I’m so angry that porn is so loved, and I’m so angry at myself for thinking that it was okay,” she continued. “The way that vaginas look in porn is f**king crazy. No vaginas look like that. Women’s bodies don’t look like that. We don’t come like that.”
Eilish then shared of how it’s hard to date being a celebrity, “I’m not a serial dater… I don’t go to stuff and flirt with people.
“It’s really hard to meet people when people are either terrified of you or think that you’re out of their league.
“Last year, I thought that I’d be single for the rest of my life. I genuinely couldn’t even picture myself in a relationship of any sort,” she confessed. “I got over that pretty fast.”
Eilish later spoke about what happened when she and Finneas had dinner at Elton John’s house: