Bebe Rexha is getting real about her battle with her body image.

In a new video shared to TikTok Monday, Rexha gave fans an “honest update” about her weight and the reason she’s been posting less on social media.

“So, it is the holidays, and I know we’re all supposed to be merry and like, ‘Yay, it’s the holidays!,’ which I am-ish,” a bare-faced Rexha began.

The update quickly turned into an emotional one when Rexha started talking about feeling embarrassed about gaining weight over the last year, telling fans she’s “the heaviest I’ve ever been.”

“I think I am the heaviest I’ve ever been. I weighed myself just now, and I don’t feel comfortable sharing the weight ’cause I feel embarrassed,” the 32-year-old musician said before tearing up. “Not just about that. I just feel like disgusting, you know, in my own body.”

The “Baby, I’m Jealous” singer said that her struggles with her body image have kept her from posting, telling fans that

“I haven’t been posting as much because I don’t feel good in my skin and when I don’t feel good, I don’t want to post. And that’s really honestly the reason why I haven’t been posting as much in the last year, or so, as much as I used to.”

@beberexha

Honest update.

♬ original sound – BebeRexha

Rexha, who has spoken about her body image and body positivity in the past, shared that her body-positive attitude stems from “a place of hurt” and “confusion,” adding that she doesn’t know how to “help herself” or “love herself” anymore.

The choked-up singer ended her “honest update” there, but the vulnerability and conversation is nothing new for the pop star, who has long been an advocate for embracing your body at any size. Back in November 2019, she spoke on The Kelly Clarkson Show about how she wants her concerts to promote self-love.

“The shows are always, like, young girls, young guys, or, like, daughters with their mothers,” she said. “… I say, ‘I don’t care what anybody has told you, a number doesn’t define you.’ And I think it’s really important for my fans to know that I’m not trying to be that. I don’t care.”

Back in July, Rexha talked to ET’s Denny Directo, where she opened up about her body-positive stance and shared a message for fans struggling with their own.

“Honestly, just do you. Wear that bathing suit. Wear that bikini. Even if you gained those five pounds or you lost too much weight, or you have the stretch marks, wear the bikini,” Rexha stressed. “Who cares. Who cares. You’re gonna look back in 10 years and say, ‘Wow, I was so hot.'”

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