Lorde had a lot to process following the release of her third studio album, Solar Power.

Lorde, 25, recently opened up about the polarizing response to her 2021 album. The New Zealand singer-songwriter touched on negative reactions to her project and those who came around on it over time.

“It took people a while to get the album — I still get emails every day from people who are just coming around to it now! — and that response was really confounding and at times painful to sit with at first,” Lorde said in her newsletter, per Just Jared. “I learnt a ton about myself and how I’m perceived by making and releasing this album.

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“I feel significantly more connected and alive in my art practice and life than pretty much ever before. Sounds dry but it’s true!!! It’s been interesting as the year has progressed taking in works of art (movies, albums, TV shows, visual art) made in and around the pandemic, and feeling like most of them have a greater degree of interiority than others made by that artist before.”

Lorde elaborated on how she channeled those feelings and the cathartic release of performing live.

“You already know about my belief that artists work to metabolise collective feeling, and it makes sense to me that when the collective feeling of the past few years has consisted of long stretches of isolation, vulnerability, abject terror and existential questioning, those feelings would be reflected in the art of the times.”

“Playing songs from SP live each night in what is undoubtedly my best live show ever is also an incredible feeling — it all makes sense there, both to you and me, in a new and vivid way. And thanks to SP, I’ve been able to work through some big personal stuff that was making it pretty difficult for me to do stuff like travel or play shows without getting completely overwhelmed.

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Ultimately, she is grateful for it all.

“I used to sit alone in my hotel room on show days, binge watching ‘Bake Off’, Ambien and Vitamin D on the bedside, my skin pale, my stomach knotted in fear,” Lorde wrote. “These days, I’m out the door in every city, walking for miles, eating gelato after dark, finding tiny wine bars, trying on vintage clothes down secret streets, laughing with friends, and playing better and better shows for you as a result.

“So yeah. Thank you, for all of it.”