Demi Lovato discusses her July 2018 overdose and suffering survivor’s guilt during a candid new interview with Zane Lowe on Apple Music 1.
Lovato, who will release her new album Holy Fvck this week, tells Lowe of addressing survivor’s guilt on the track “Dead Friends”: “I’ve made friends of all ages. I’ve lost friends that were around my age, and those hurt so deeply because we’ve been in the trenches together.”
She adds of Mac Miller, who died from an accidental drug overdose in September 2018, “I had a lot of survivor’s guilt after my overdose because there was, right after that, Mac Miller died, and it just put everything into perspective for me of, That could have been you, that almost was you, and how are you going to live your life now? And it affected me a lot.
“People that shaped your childhood, or people that have been influential to your work, or even people that I didn’t know their music, but knew who they were, it puts things into perspective.”
Lovato talks further about her overdose, telling Lowe: “[The] doctor said, had I… I mean, when they found me, I was turning blue, and [the] doctor said I had five to 10 more minutes left. If no one had come in when they did, I wouldn’t be here today.”
She says of regaining the trust of loved ones during recovery: “Recovery is a lot. And with time, comes trust. I never have come out of treatment, I mean, maybe the first time, expecting people to trust me right away.”
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“It was a learning experience of, Okay, people are going to have to learn to trust you again. The only way they can do that is by you proving yourself and not just talking, but taking actions that are towards your recovery.
“My family is incredible. And I’ve had members of my family struggle with addiction, so they are very understanding of it, and they know what it’s like. Do they worry to this day? Absolutely. That’s never probably going to go away with what I put them through. As a consequence of that, they ended up suffering.”