Noah Cyrus speaks candidly about her Xanax addiction in a new interview with Zane Lowe on Apple Music 1.
The singer discusses her new album The Hardest Part, revealing how there was a time she didn’t want to live, and that she’s finally feeling like herself with this release.
Cyrus tells Lowe, “There’s a lot of personal things that involved that I had to come to terms with. I’ve acknowledged it and I’m definitely healing it. But I think also at the time, I did not want to be alive anymore. I didn’t. And I was just waiting for one day that maybe I maybe wouldn’t wake up. I don’t know where it was heading. There were a lot of scary moments. I just know that I was trying to avoid being alive or maybe feeling the feeling of being alive because sometimes being alive is really painful.
“Looping back to where I’m at right this second is something that if I have experienced this feeling and this life before being not easy, life’s not easy for anyone. Everybody’s life is custom to them and their pain is custom and their heartache is custom, but either it’s the first time or the first time in a very freaking long time that I have felt this feeling in myself of just peaceful happiness and just living day by day and going to sleep not hoping that I won’t wake up.”
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Cyrus continues of how her new album impacted her life, “This album came about at a time where I had a lot of change in my life. In the end of December of 2020 is when I decided to try and kick my addiction to downers, prescription pills, painkillers, Xanax.
“That was kind of my drug of choice. And I was completely wrapped inside of that drug. And when I had just lost all hope and all faith and all what felt strength to keep going is when I just broke down and asked for help. Where for so long, I had been denying, denying, denying, and pushing away, where I finally just said, ‘I cannot lie to you anymore.'”
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She continues, “I called my therapist. I called a psychiatrist. And I think there was a lot of confusion that a lot of things clicked for them where a lot of stories hadn’t made sense in the past.
“A lot of things were clicking and I got the help that I needed and also that I deserve and that every person with addiction or mental health deserves. And then around that time, I met a new manager. He’s a huge component in me and my happiness today, genuinely. And you don’t get to say that a lot. I genuinely mean that. I feel like for the first time in my career, I’m really being thought after and looked after and my well-being and who I am. Who I am personally and not as the artist.”